Bella Snow

Suing Disneyland

2010-08-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

A muslim woman is suing Disney over her burkha. Disney's dress code is specific. The point is, this woman is a complete idiot because she knew the dress code before she accepted the job and now she wants to sue because the burkha is a part of her religion and Disney will not allow her to wear it. Disney is not trying to discriminate against her religion, it's Disney's dress code and if you don't like it, don't work there.

Pentagrams are a part of my religion and I wouldn't expect Disney to let me wear them. Religion should stay out of the workplace just like it should stay out of the state.

CNN

It's Called Ettiquette. USE IT!

2010-08-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

When I go into the little girls room to do my thing, I do not want to walk in and see someone talking on their cell phone.

Person on cell phone: "What sound?"
"Oh! THAT sound. Someone walked in and is going to the bathroom."

If I wanted random unknown people listening to me pee, I would ask to have a toilet installed in my cubicle.

The workplace bathroom is no place to be talking on your cell phone.

Ode to My Parents

2010-08-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

Most people know that my real name is Genifer and not Bella. Notice the spelling of my name. Those of you with parents who decided to be “different” (or as I like to say “difficult”) know what I am talking about. There is nothing more vexatious than having a common name with an uncommon spelling.

Common name + uncommon spelling = impatience

“Genifer, give me your email address so that I can send you the forms.”
“My name is spelled differently so listen closely. My email is g-e-n-i-f-e-r@blah.com.”

I say it meticulously slow so that there isn’t a misunderstanding but apparently this guy’s brain is wired to only conceive the common thread of assume.

“Let me read that back to you. J-e-n-i-s-e-r-@blah.com.”

What threw me off was the “s” part. Since when is there an “s” in Genifer (or Jenifer)?

I am forever damaged because my parents thought it was cool to give their child a nightmare spelling of her name.

Unwittingly

2010-08-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Wit is something I have never been able to obtain. I hear these remarkable witty retorts to a smug cut-down and I think to myself, “Remember that one! That’s a good one!” Do I really remember these awesome comebacks?

“Mom, you have the memory of a field mouse.” says daughter.

“Honey, you have the memory of a fish.” says husband.

So, how do I react when being personally attacked with sarcasm? Either respond with adolescent profanity (Shut up, F@&K – tard!) or infantile remarks (I know you are but what am I!) instead of cool and collective repartee (For our protection, I am praying that a Tsunami drowns and wipes out your entire gene pool because I am certain that any replica of you produced will tilt this world so far into stupidity oblivion that we will never recover from it.)

Although, wittingly enough, I did come up with that retort all by myself.

Idiocracy

2010-08-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

After what seemed like a permanent hiatus, I decided that blogging again might bring me a little comfort regarding some things that just bug me.

There are complete idiots everywhere. Some are not that discernible but then there are those who are so instantaneously recognized that the words, “This guy is a fucking idiot!” comes flying out of the mouth, devoid of any edit button, and it makes me feel as if I have personally branded this person and presented him/her to the world as THE First-Class-Idiot. Once those 6 words leave my mouth, I feel great and accomplished, and I can walk away with a satisfied Chestshire grin.

“Hey, IDIOT! Didn’t you hear? That became illegal a year ago!!!”

I have never been able to cell phone and drive. Apparently my creators forgot to add that special component to my circuit breaker. It appears that many other folks lack that same bonus feature. What I don’t understand is why those, who do not have the “cell phone and drive” coordination, do it anyway.

When I leave my apartment for work, the only thing I want to do is get to work and get through my day. I don’t want to have to start my day with the pretentious moron, in the beat up baby blue Toyota Corolla, going 50 MPH in the fast lane, and talking on his cell phone. I can deal with the idiots who cut me off and drivers who suddenly realize they are in their car on the freeway because they only woke up 5 minutes ago but, I cannot deal with those who have to be on their cell phone and cannot pay enough attention to see they are causing a traffic jam.

You. Road idiot. You created a traffic jam because all the people in the fast lane had to move to go around you, causing the people in the middle lane to move over as well. Do you know what happens when three lanes all of a sudden become two lanes???? IT CAUSES A TRAFFIC JAM. In your case, an unnecessary traffic jam!!!

Some people.

Bella and Bello Forever

2008-04-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Bello and I have our wedding site up if you'd like to check it out.

Bella and Bello

Dude, Where's My Car?

2008-04-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

Twelve years ago I was the notorious party girl and when I write notorious, I mean the evil little 5’4”, 97 pound, drunk blonde bomber. Yes, I had my fights with alcohol but lucky for me, that all seemed to go away when I decided to finally grow up.

My sister and then husband had paid me a weekend visit and we all decided to go out and drink. Correction – Bella decided to drink. Bella’s sister and hubby decided to be antisocial.

As I order another drink from the bar, my sister tells me that she and hubby are going to take my car and get something to eat.

Fine. Bye.

An hour goes by – Bella is full on wasted. BUT! Bella remembers EVERYTHING!

Drunk Bella leaves the bar to go and pass out in her car. Bella can’t find car. Bella panics.

Operator: 911, what’s your emergency?

Bella: Someone has stolen my car!

Operator: Someone stole your car?

Bella: Yes!

Operator: Are you located at the phone booth in front of Steve’s Hardware?

Bella: Yes!

(An alarm goes off – like a school bell ringing forever)

Bella: Someone broke into the store!

Operator: Someone has stolen your car and broken into your store?

Bella: NO! Someone has stolen my car and then broke into Steve’s Hardware!

Operator: Ma’am, where did you park your car and what time did you see it last?

Bella: I parked in the bar’s parking lot at 6:00 PM tonight. I lost my keys. I can’t find my car keys.

Operator: Ma’am, are you sure you didn’t give someone your car keys and a friend has your car?

Bella: NO!!! Someone stole my car!!!

Police officer walks up. Bella slams the phone down.

Bella: Someone stole my car!!!

Police: Ma’am, you are inebriated and I’d like you stand over here with me.

Looking out on the street, there goes Bella’s car.

Bella: MY CAR!!!!

Bella runs down the street.

Police: MA’AM GET BACK HERE! (Cop runs after Bella)

Sister stops, hubby gets out of car and lifts backseat and Bella dives in. Police catches up.

Police: Do you now this woman?

Sister: Yes, she’s my sister. Please excuse her she’s a little drunk.

Police: A little? She reported her car stolen. Is this her car?

Sister: Bella! You reported your car stolen when I told you we were getting something to eat and coming right back?

Police: She also reported a false break in at the hardware store down the street.

Sister: Bella! What’s wrong with you?!?!?!?!

Police: Get her home before I arrest her. I don‘t want to see her face near here for a long time.

Bella doesn’t pick fights, spit all over people, pass out in front of homes.

Nope.

She calls 911 and reports false crimes.

Don't Go There

2008-03-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

I have been going out of my mind planning this wedding of mine and Bello's. Had I known that it would be this stressful, I would have asked Bello to elope. BUT - I am also aware that I would have WIDELY regretted that choice and everyone that knows me, knows that decision would have ruled my life, making it a permanent dwelling conversation.

I have everything in control and it appears to be going smooth. The only problem is, I don't know whether or not I am suppose to have a wedding coordinator at the wedding. I didn't hire one because I didn't see it being very reasonable to pay someone hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to plan my wedding for me when I could do it myself. Now I'm left wondering, "Who the hell is going to tell everyone that it's time for the cake cutting, time for the bride/groom dance.....?" Am I suppose to do that or was I suppose to hire someone to do that? FUCK, I am so confused!!!

And why are weddings so GAWD-DAMMED EXPENSIVE ANYWAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF?????

Sleepless nights are upon me and as much as I am looking forward to our special day, I just want to get it over with so that I can go back to normal and not have to worry about how I'm gonna pay the videographer, the photographer, the DJ, the hairstylist, the make-up artist, the seamstress.........

Hello Bayyyyyybeeee!

2008-03-27T15:35:00.001-07:00

Oh yeah, I'm back and I've lost 37 fucking pounds. Can you say

Yiiiaaaahhh bayyybeeeee!!!!

GITOVERIT!!!

2007-10-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, people. I am so sick of your whinny-assed complaints over nothing.

Imus is going back on the air and people are questioning whether or not he should be allowed to be on the radio again after the comments he made about some women's basketball team that I really don't give a rat's ass about.

Imus is a shock jock, people - he's suppose to say crude things and if ya don't like it, then turn the fucking channel. Isn't that what you did with Howard Stern? Hate 'em so don't listen.

The next time Chris Rock calls white people "cracker as crackers", I am going to make this huge, ferocious, retaliated, vengeful, protest about how much I don't give a shit what Chris Rock thinks about white people. Ya know why? Cuz Chris doesn't care what white people say about black people. It's a waste of time and precious energy to complain about someone's opinion.

Who cares what Imus thinks. Look at him for cryin out loud. The guy looks like he's already dead.

Sticks and stones.....

Celtic Druidry

2007-10-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

I went to the Celtic Festival yesterday with Rose (Bello's Mom) and it was so awesome.

***NOTE - Shoulda been home working on an essay but Bad Bella totally blew it off.***

Sometimes you just gotta have fun first.

The music was great and we were surprised to see Celtic Spring playing the wonderful music that they performed for all of America on America's Got Talent. What a bunch of talented kids and so entertaining.

Rose and I saw all the booths and we ran into one from the local bookstore. They had a bunch of books on the pagan faiths and I found one of The Druids. I was a little skeptical at first because there is relatively no information or documentation on the Druids; just speculation. However, when I checked this guys bibliography, it was phenomenal. I felt at the right place at the right time and I couldn't be happier.

It felt nice to be able to where my pentagram necklace and my cloak and not be looked at as if I were a devil worshipper because most religions are misinformed about the pentagram and pagans. I wonder if other religions that celebrate Christmas, Easter, etc. know that those pagan holidays were adopted by the Christians to make it easier for the pagans to convert?

Oh well, it doesn't really matter because whatever faith we practice (or not) we feel it's right for us. We have our bad pagans, christians, catholics, mormons.....and we have our good pagans, christians, catholics, mormons.....who believe in the freedom of religion.

Just don't ever call my religion the Occult - I might have to cast a spell on you.

I Dream of Placentas

2007-09-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

You know those really weird dreams you have; just totally bizarre with a capital CREEPY? Man, did I have one those last night and the minute I awoke, I felt like jumping in the shower.

There I was in a hospital waiting room sitting on a cushioned bench. I look to my left and this lady is screaming bloody murder because she is in labor. The whole time, I am wondering why this woman isn’t in a delivery room. Instead, she is sitting on another bench to the left of me. The nurses and doctors come up to me and tell me that my water has broken. I look down at a big belly and I think to myself I’m pregnant? How the hell did that happen? I wasn’t pregnant yesterday but today I’m nine months pregnant?! They lay me down on the bench and I lift my head up to see that woman in labor across from me on her back, legs spread, everything exposed and they are telling her to push. This is freakin nuts! Then they all started chanting for me to push. "Shouldn’t I be in a delivery room and not on a bench in the waiting area????" "Just push, PUSH, PUSH!!!" So I start pushing and this baby pops out of me. I look down and I smile to see this baby that the doctor is holding up, umbilical cord and all. No pain. Wouldn’t that be nice in reality? I look down again, this time at my hospital gown and I am soaked in after birth. Gross!!!! I start to gag and the doctor cuts the umbilical cord and tells me I need to walk down the hall to have the placenta removed. "Where?" "Just follow the other women." So I get up, after birth and all, and walk over to the department where I stand in line, waiting to have my placenta removed while an umbilical cord dangles between my legs underneath my hospital gown. I see a nurse to my right and she looks at all of us standing there and then announces on a PA – "We need a doctor in the Placenta Department, we have a long line of woman here waiting to have their placentas removed!"

The Death Penalty

2007-09-26T13:29:00.001-07:00

A couple of years ago one of Belle’s teachers was convicted of child molestation, seven counts to be exact and was sentenced to over 100 years in prison, with no option to appeal or parole. It was a good victory for the victims but it’s a long road to recovery, if any, for hopes of a normal life.

In class today, the question Should the Death Penalty Be Abolished? was asked by our instructor. A majority said no because they believe that the death penalty helps reduce crime. Sometimes I can’t believe that I go to school with these people. The death penalty does not reduce crime, in fact, the states that have the death penalty report higher crime rates than those who don’t. However, I do not believe that the death penalty should be abolished but it should not be used as regular means of punishment even if it’s reserved for the most heinous crimes. EXCEPT….yes, except for child predators. There is no room on earth for criminals like those; who prey on our young innocent children, destroying their youth. It is a fact that child predators NEVER learn. They are released back into the public to continue their dirty deeds and some become worse pedophiles than they were before. Some begin to torture children; raping and then killing them in the most disturbing ways. No. There is no room for pedophiles EVER. They should be put to death so that we never hear or read about them ever again.

Black or White? Woman or Man?

2007-09-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

In light of recent events, I'd like to comment on some issues that have been bothering me.

BTW - I'm back and boy to I have a fucking bone to pick. 'Scuse my French.

The Jena 6. What the hell, people? It's not a race issue? It is a race issue, you damned morons! Hello, McFly???? A few black kids asked the Dean if they could sit under the tree in front of campus and the Dean tells them they coud sit wherever they please. So, they sat under the tree. Normally occupied by the white kids, three of them become upset that there are black kids hanging out in their spot so the white kids hang three nooses from the tree. When the black kids see it the next day, they beat the crap out of one of the white kids. And you freakin white people are saying that it's not a race issue? BULLSHIT!!!!

The three white kids should have been suspended from school and made to apologize for their lack of character. The black kids should be suspended from school for retaliating in a violent way and beating the crap out of some punk racist kid.

Did you check out the picture of the white kid who was beatened? Freakin mullet wearing hillbilly.

Now, on to my real dilemma. Obama or Hillary?

Back up a minute - who the hell gave Jesse Jackson the go ahead to label someone as "acting black or white"? Jackson is outraged because Obama hasn't acted "black enough" in response to the Jena Six injustice.

Jackson,

I applaud you for your Civil Rights Activism for the African Americans but do me a favor and please shut the fuck up. Okay?

We need a good president and my choices are Hillary or Obama. I am torn. If I were male, I'd probably vote for Obama but being a woman, I can't betray my sex. BUT, I'm torn.

Obama sounds so darn good but at last, we've endured centuries of manwars and bullshit that have finally destroyed us, that it's time for a woman to step in and clean house.

The Angel of Death

2007-05-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

The infamous Angel of Death, Jack Kevorkian, is being released on Friday after seven years of prison time. I fear for his life because of religious extremists and I hope he can live out the rest of his life peacefully. So far there is one state that allows assisted suicide and that is Oregon. I wouldn’t put it past him if he resides there. However, that would be too obvious and it would reduce his chances of being left alone by those who disagree with his way of dealing with the terminally ill.

I still can’t believe that we spent over 8 million dollars on trying this man for helping to ease the pain of the terminally ill. It wasn’t just the money spent but the prosecution’s modus operandi was based on the slippery-slope definition that if doctors are given a license to kill, it won’t be just the terminally ill at risk but innocent people. Then prosecutors had the balls to include children. What a load of shit. Among the many problems that this forsaken country has is that we are afraid of death; afraid of our own mortality. When a person dies we hide behind consoling words of wisdom, “He’s in a better place, she’s walking among the angels, he’s with the Lord, his time was up….” I call these words of wisdom a load of shit. Don’t mistake me for being insensitive; this is not what I am trying to convey. The fact of the matter is, we are all going to die. It’s not something we should dwell on, it’s not something that we should become insensitive to but it’s something that we need to grasp and tell ourselves that’s it’s okay when someone passes on. It’s okay.

Some people say that we have no right to play God. I reject that statement because there is no absolute proof that one even exists. Anyone can believe there is a God but you cannot show concrete proof there is one. Therefore, using God as an excuse is totally irrelevant.

So what about the humaneness of it all? Well, we are such a twisted society that we kill those who commit heinous crimes yet those who are law abiding citizens that are terminally ill, in excruciating pain, cannot eat, walk or talk and are completely helpless are made to suffer the ultimate torture of their illness until they naturally die.

Now you tell me, how the fuck is that humane?

Am I a Cheap Date?

2007-05-16T08:29:00.000-07:00

I was going through some "Wedding Don'ts" when I stumbled upon this:

"Guests should never be expected to pay for drinks. You would never host any other private party and expect your guests to pay for their own alcohol."
--Elizabeth, 25, Frederick, MD

"I hate cash bars. It's like sending your wedding present COD."
--Susan, 28, New Fairfield, CT

"I'm sorry, but limited bars are generally a bummer."
--Liza, 25, Cincinnati, OH

Yeah, notice the age on these people? First of all, if someone complains about not being able to get drunk enough at a couple's wedding, then he/she shouldn't be going. A wedding does not consist of a Bride, a Groom, and, OH YEAH, free alcohol. The only people that would complain about alcohol limitations at a wedding are those who want more than just a few drinks. And if someone wants more than a few drinks then it's obvious that his/her intentions do not include being sober.

If anyone wants two drinks, three at the most, it's not going to hurt their pockets to pay for their own drinks and it's definitely not going to affect them if they are limited to two or three. Why should the Bride and Groom and their parents pay for someone to get wasted?

I am willing to bet everything I own that these three women are not married and have never planned a wedding. How do I know that? Because anyone who is planning a wedding or who has had a wedding, already knows that the alcohol part is what kills the bill unless you control it. Especially if you have a family who loves to drink. Unless your father is Daddy Warbucks, you can bet your life that anyone involved with paying for the wedding will not want an outrageous bar bill.

Of course you have those who feel obligated whether they have the money or not. However, I am sure that my parents are not feeling compelled to pay for anyone's high. And quite frankly, neither am I.

A Short Fairy Tale

2007-05-10T07:47:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
~~~~~~~~
grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so.

Send Paris To Jail!!!!

2007-05-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

Paris' friend has a petition to get her a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card", huh? Well, I say lock the bitch up!

Sign here

George W. Bush Is A Saint

2007-04-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his poll standings. Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Katrina, wiretapping and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Bush showed up for the sermon and the Bishop began:
"I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President. "George Bush is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated country on earth. He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than we've had since the Depression. He instituted illegal wiretaps when getting a warrant from a secret court would have been a mere administrative detail, had his henchmen lie to Congress about it, then claimed he is above the law. He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot Dome. The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6 trillion, gas prices are up 85%, and vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from some religious kooks. He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known."

"But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George W. Bush is a saint."

I've Been Lazy - SUE ME!

2007-04-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

My sister is getting married in Lake Tahoe and I am getting that disturbing feeling you get when you can't wait to blow your hard earned income on a money sucking machine. Why I gamble is beyond me. I never win anything and I always come home complaining to myself, "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!"

I never go with high hopes but I am confident that my time will come eventually. Maybe not this time but for sure in the future. Then again, it may never happen. Still, it would be nice to at least hit a $1,000 jackpot like my mother does almost every time she goes. I swear that woman kills me. She has this profound luck when it comes to gambling.

I thought about how nice it would be to win a huge jackpot worth millions and millions. Then I read about the taxes that high tax states like California like to take. Last year, California collected millions in taxes from gambling. No wonder Ahnold felt it appropriate to give his colleagues raises. For these purposes, I don't want to win a big jackpot so I think I'll stick to the quarter machines even if I do break even. I'm pretty good when it comes to gambling. If I haven't broke even by the time I have gone through sixty bucks, then I stop because I can't cope with losing anymore money. I'd rather have my hair or nails done and get a massage with that money.

Wish me luck anyway because I'll need it.

Police investigate USC student - News

2007-04-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

Police investigate USC student - News

This guy was interning with us last year and we had no idea that he had been arrested. I sat in the cubicle kittycorner from me. He seemed like a nice guy and I never would have thought...........ewwww. Just plain ewwwwww.

'Tis My Intent

2007-04-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

From the time I was very young, I have always had an interest in things that are not considered normal for me. Maybe normal for someone else, but not normal for me. For example - my religion. I was dragged through every religion possible and not one of them made any sense or appealed to me.

My career path is somewhat traditional but my major in college was not. In fact, it is the exact opposite of what people would have expected from me. Most people thought I would become a writer or a journalist for news. I thought they were crazy. I don't have the artistic talent to write eloquently; I tend to go on and on and on and bore people with irrelevant details. I am too descriptive and sometimes....well....sometimes I downright say too much. As they say, "Some things are better left unsaid." I learned that valuable lesson a couple months ago.

What is expected of me, I do the opposite and it's not out of rebellion; it's my own individuality that shines and gives me a sense of who I really am. If I listened to everyone else, I wouldn't be who I am today. I chose this person for myself and when and if I decide to change, then that will be my choice. I am open to ideas but they will be incorporated into mine and shouldn't be confused with patronization. It's quite often that people tend to take credit for changing a person.

Not true.

A person doesn't simply change another person. People have to want to change and if a good idea is thrown their way and makes a person think differently about their situation, then they have that choice to take that idea and mold into their own. You can't change someone but you can certainly influence them.

My point here is that people think they know me. They know "my kind". It's funny to see their faces when they realize how wrong they are.

I guess it's part of being a Gemini - unpredictable, uncertain and indecisive.

The Death Tax

2007-03-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

I thought this to be appropriate as we approach the inevitable tax season. I was fortunate this year and may be fortunate next year when I receive a little money back but once Bello and I get married, I'll kiss that money goodbye.

Tax his land, tax his bed, tax the table at which he is fed.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule, teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his cow, tax his goat, tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirt, tax his work, tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, tax his drink, tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars, tax his beers, if he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car, tax his gas, find other ways to tax his ass.
Tax all he has, then let him know, that you won’t be done, till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more, tax him until he’s good and sore.
Then tax his coffin, tax his grave, tax the sod in which he’s laid.
Put these words upon his tomb, "Taxes drove me to my doom…"
When he is gone, do not relax, it’s time to apply the inheritance tax.

People often like to point out how other countries take half of what people make. You don't think the United States does that too? The only difference is they don't take a huge chunk at one time. No, my friends, they take it a little at a time so that it seems like it's not that much. Think about these taxes and how many of them actually apply to you. Trust me, with the exception of just a few, you'll be pulling out your calculator adding up all these taxes and then, only then, will you realize that the Untied States has taken you for a sucker. Don't get me wrong; this is still the greatest place to live but who are we kiddin here, people? We pay a high price for it. Freedom doesn't come for free.

Accounts receivable tax
Building permit tax
CDL license tax
Cigarette tax
Corporate income tax
dog license tax
Federal income tax
Federal unemployment tax
Fishing license tax
Food license tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline tax (42+ cents per gallon)
Hunting license tax
Inheritance tax
Interest tax
IRS interest charges
IRS penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor tax
Luxury taxes (what luxuries with all these taxes?)
Marriage license tax
Medicare tax, Property tax
Real estate tax
Recreational vehicle tax
Road usage taxes
Sales tax
School tax
Service charge taxes
Social security tax
State income tax
State unemployment tax
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal
State and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility taxes
Vehicle license registration tax
Vehicle sales tax
Watercraft registration tax
Well permit tax
Workers compensation tax

The telephone taxes are what gets me. Why don't they just charge one telephone service tax and cut out all that other stuff? Wouldn't it be a lot easier? Think of all the ink the phone companies use to print all those taxes on your bill. Ya think they'd get a little smarter and realize if they lumped it all in one sum on one line, they might save a few bucks off of the unnecessary use of printer ink.

I Go Buh-bye!

2007-03-10T19:53:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah!!!! We are finally moving out of this hellholeuva place! Tonight is my last night. I am moving on to a better home with 2,100 extra square feet. No more walking out of your bedroom and straight into the front door crap. Okay, so that's an extreme exaggeration but after a week in the new house, it will seem like the apartment was that small.

I have another three days of school and I am off for a month until I have to return again. bleh

I've had some really good luck lately and it has hit the "three" mark but I hope it doesn't stop there.

1. Got engaged.
2. Moving into a big house RENT FREE!!!!
3. I am up for a promotion at work - big money!!!

I couldn't be happier and life is getting better by the second.

There, I've updated. Are you FREAKIN happy, BLUE????? lol

I'll Stand By You As Long As I Live

2007-02-16T18:08:00.000-08:00

On Valentine's Day we had planned to go out for dinner but then Bello suggested we stay in and have a fondue night all by ourselves. We went to the store and bought everything we needed and headed home.

I was pulling everything out of the bags when he presented me his card for the special day.

"Awwwe honey. But I didn't get you anything."

"That's okay."

"I'm kidding, babe. I would never do that to you. Here, I have a card for you."

"Open yours first."

I opened the card and on the front of it was a sillouhette of a man and woman kissing in a doorway. It read:

Stand By Me

You are the quiet
at the end of my day......

Then I opened the inside and it played Stand By Me, the original version. I was so touched. Then it got better. The card read:

I feel so loved when you hold me.
I close my eyes and the rest
of the world disappears.
Then it's just you and me,
and that's all I need.

Happy Valentine's Day

It got even better. He wrote me a poem inside the card:

I can see the future when I look into you eyes,

The future of us together, farther than the bluest skies.

I see happiness, good fortune and health,

Not so much power or fame but hopefully wealth.

I love you more than you will ever know,

I love knowing that we're going to watch each other grow.

I love you so much sometimes it's hard to see,

Then in little words below the last line it said "over". I turned the card over and on the back was a Post It note. I lifted the Post It and it said,

Will You Marry Me?

Then he pulled out a beatiful heart-shaped ring set in white gold with my favorite stone, a Moldavite. I cried and hugged him and I said, "Of course I will marry you."

We will be married June 14th, 2008.

Prison Term Policy Recommendation

2007-02-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

I am about to discuss a touchy subject; a subject that is very controversial. Your opinions on this matter is of great importance to me because I am writing a Prison Term Policy Recommendation. If you could possibly send some friends over and comment on this issue, I'd be very grateful.

The following is my thesis for the recommendation and following that, I will provide the steps that I believe is necessary for rehabilitation.

In 2005, robbery in the United States increased by 3.9 percent, up from 2004. (Federal Bureau of Investigations, 2006) The legislature has proposed a bill that would double the maximum prison term for armed robbery. There is no guarantee that this measure will deter those who consider a criminal life and use a weapon to obtain an object of value however, there are recommendations that can be implemented into this measure that can be of some use both to society and the deviant. These recommendations include strict procedures that one must follow and complete before being released back into the world. These procedures require behavior modification, education and vocation training, work experience, counseling and proper nutrition and exercise. With these procedures intact, it is the recommendation that deviants be rehabilitated rather than just incarcerated.

The rehabilitation methods:

Behavior Modification
Education and Vocation Training
Work Experience
Counseling
Proper Nutrition and Exercise

I know that rehabilitation was implemented in some areas and it appeared that these methods proved fruitless however, I really don't think a cogent method was implemented. Right now, hundreds of thousands of prisoners sit in prison where they eat, sleep, lift weights, watch TV and do very little work. Most of their time spent is in their cells. I know that a lot of people feel that they deserve to sit in their cells but what about those who will be eventually released? Did you know that the recidivism rate for those people released is 51%? (Federal Bureau of Investigations, 2002) Of course this statistic may be a little lower or higher considering the United State's recidivism study was done in 1994 and the last time it was updated was in 2002. However, since 2004, crime has increased. The point is, rehabilitation needs to be given another chance because obviously keeping these people incarcerated does nothing but allows them to think about what he/she could have done differently to avoid being caught. These people need something else to think about; like how to survive in life and be successful the proper way.

References:

Federal Bureau of Investigations. (2006). Uniform crime report (Robbery). District of Columbia: Department of Justice.

Federal Bureau of Investigations. (2002). Reentry trends in the u.s. (Rearrest Within Three Years). District of Columbia: Bureau of Justice Statistics.

A Love Story

2007-02-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

American Monster

2007-02-10T14:26:00.000-08:00

Is it me or is there some MAJOR similarities here????

Phil Stacey - American Idol Contestant

Max Schreck as Nosferatu

Goodbye, Guess Girl

2007-02-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to say that I am not entirely broken up about it but hey, it’s always a tragedy when someone dies. Even though Anna Nicole’s life was filled with trouble, she entertained me with bizarre behavior that would make me blurt out in repulsion,

“WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”
“Damn that girl can eat!”
“Did you understand anything she said?”
“She lost all that weight? How? Drugs?”
“TrimSpa? WTF is TrimSpa?”
“Why couldn’t she just eat less and exercise?”

She gave me some great laughs at her expense and I have to admit that I’ll miss watching her once in a while on Extra! and making fun of her slurred-alcohol-drug-induced speech impediment. Remember the time at the Grammys? Dude, I giggled my arse off! It was hilarious and while some people were twisting their mouths in horrid, I was clutching my stomach and pulling cheek muscles from laughing so damn hard.

I felt sorry for Anna when her son died but you can only feel so much for someone who destroyed herself rather than staying strong for her new baby.

Rest in peace, princess.

Smurfs On Acid

2007-02-06T13:42:00.000-08:00

Back in high school I hung around with a lot of people that experimented with some hallucinogens every now and then.

A friend of mine had dropped acid in French class and I couldn't resist the temptation to mess with her head. The teacher walked in wearing a white beret and a blue pant suit. You can imagine what our teacher looked like. I casually mentioned this to said friend, "Is it me or does the teacher look like a freakin smurf!" I have never seen anyone on acid look so stunned.

Throughout the class my friend kept bumping my shoulder, "Oh my god, she IS a smurf!" I had to push it even further by telling her, "Yeah, you're right, she is a smurf and all her little smurfs are....oh shit! Look at your leg! Oh my god, they're crawling up your leg!"

"They're crawling up my leg?! WHERE?!"

"Look! There's like ten of them and they're knawing on your leg!"

She freaked so bad and started slapping the invisible smurfs off her leg yelling, "Get them off me, get them off me!"

The whole class turns around wondering what the hell is going on in the back of the class when out of nowhere my friend gets up and bolts out of the classroom screaming, "They're eating my legs!"

The teacher didn't know what to think. I just casually said that my friend was having a little emotional problems at the moment and tomorrow she would be back to normal. Funny, the teacher never suspected anything.

Candid

2007-02-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

This picture of me was taken in Oregon when I went to visit my family for Christmas. I considered changing my photo to this one since it is so candid but I really loved Bello's picture that he took of me; the one on the left side of my blog.

This is one of those pictures when someone yells your name and you quickly turn around. It catches that person off guard and in action. I kind of like it because you can see me for me and not some posed picture. Bello takes a lot of pictures of me. I am so flattered when he chooses me to pose for pictures when trying out a new sequence or lense. Someday I may post some of the ones he took of Belle but I am not quite sure that I am prepared or ready to expose my little girl to the world in that way. They are very beautiful pictures but like I said, I am not too keen on posting pictures of my child on the internet.......

Little Theives!

2007-02-04T20:51:00.000-08:00

I was slipping my rent check into the door of my apartment's office building and something caught my eye. I did a double take and thought, "That can't be." Some moron slipped their rent check in without putting the check into an envelope. The check was face up revealing all the information that a check contains. I couldn't beleive it. Do you know what a person can do with that information? I'll tell ya.

In 1999 I had lost my day planner that contained everything about me, including my Social Security number and checkbook. These little theives went to Nordstrom and wrote out a $500 check with my expired driver's license. Of course I was smart enough to call my bank and report everything stolen and when they called me to tell me that someone had written the check I was furious. Not only did Nordstrom accept my expired driver's license but the asshole who wrote the check spelled my name wrong. Hint: Most of you know that Bella is not my real name.

The irony of it all is that the police obtained the video tape of who wrote the check but were unable to identify this person. Read on, it gets better.

I called up the Nordstrom that took my check and asked how their employees could be so stupid as to write down an expired license and not notice that the signature was mispelled. Their response - "The employees really don't pay attention to that." I then asked - "Then what's the purpose of taking down the information if no one pays attention to it?" Their response - "Just in case the check bounces, we know how to locate you."

Oh, I get it. So, just incase some butthole decides to steal my identity and buy stuff with my checkbook, you can call me up and tell me that I am responsible for your employees failure to see that not only was the license expired and the signature mispelled but that the jerk who committed the fraud was a FUCKING ASIAN MALE!

Considering the driver's license depicted a female with BLONDE hair should have been easily caught.

But, they don't pay attention to that.

Needless to say, I haven't shopped at Nordstrom since.

Tenant Improvements

2007-02-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

Why didn't someone tell me that all the crappy graphics on my page looked ridiculous? Seriously, people, you are much too polite and I would have accepted the constructive criticism, "Bella? Uh, hellllooo! Your page is waaaaaay to crowded with junk. Clean it up, girlfriend!"

Dawn - sorry girl, but I love your Flooble Menus and I couldn't resist. I just had to rip them off. Hey, I am giving you credit at least.

No comments on the title! You know that I have to have some sarcastic remark and it wouldn't be me if I didn't.

The Boston Terrorists

2007-02-01T14:07:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, this was mistaken for a bomb in Boston. Hundreds of these electronic devices went up in Boston, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. The only city to overreact was Boston.

The media is claiming that this is a hoax. I don’t get it if it was meant to be a hoax.

Interference, Inc. is a marketing company based in New York and hired by Turner Network Television. They were hired to promote The Cartoon Network’s “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” animated show for adults. Where the hoax of a terrorism scare comes into play is beyond me. Not only that, it took Boston three weeks to discover the electronic devices. I can see why. People driving by these things saw flashing lights with a cartoon character flipping them the bird. I seriously doubt anyone thought about a bomb until Boston Officials discovered it. B.O. claims there were complaints and people associated the devices with bombs. I find that hard to believe; I think officials were pissed off that someone had the audacity to hang a lit sign with a cartoon flippin’ people off. I think they took it personal. They’ve obviously adopted to Bush’s mentality – when in doubt, call them a terrorist.

I understand all this post 911 crap but I don’t live in fear and I never will. You want to know what I fear? I fear all this Republican bullshit that my hard earned money has to pay for, that’s what I fear. I don’t fear terrorism or terrorists. I fear the government. Damn assholes.

Somebody, Please Pity Me.

2007-01-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

We are getting things together…..slowly….only because I am a procrastinating turtle but we are looking forward to our big move. It will be nice to get out of our overpriced two bedroom apartment and move into a nice spacious four bedroom home – over 2,400 square feet of space. It’s one story but the house is looooooong!

I remember when my dad, Mickey and my other mom, Minnie (I miss you so much, mom) first bought the house and mom’s comment was, “It takes forever to walk from the kitchen to the bathroom! Sometimes I get scared thinking I may not make it. You have to kind of plan ahead to make it to the bathroom or on your way to/from one of the back bedrooms, make a pit stop even if you don’t have to go.” I laughed so hard when she said this. I miss her laugh and everything about her.

The anticipation is killing Bello. He just wants to get out of that apartment. I don’t blame him. The other day, the apartment manager put a notice on our door telling us to take down our Bamboo shade from our balcony within three days or get out. I was shocked when I read this. The shade helped keep our AC bill down for the last three summers because the sunlight in the late afternoon shines right into our bedroom making it miserable to sleep in for the night. When we told them that we wouldn’t be resigning our lease, the nasty gram appeared a few days later. Most of the apartments are empty and no one seems to stay in them for longer than three months. For one thing, the rent is way too much and management is a pain in the ass.

My first reaction was to storm into the office and demand answers for this unwarranted notice. However, I want some of my deposit back so I will keep my mouth shut. I think they may be upset because I know that no matter how bad the carpet is worn, I won’t have to pay to replace it because the warranty is up. Everything else is just wear and tear and they won’t get much of my $2400 deposit. They’ll try to get as much as possible, this I know, but what they don’t know is that I am a walking talking Tenant/Landlord Law book.

In other news, my sister is getting married for the second time in April. This second one comes before MY FIRST wedding. I know I should be excited and happy but the truth is I am depressed and sad because I don’t even have an engagement ring. On Saturday, everyone went to Layla’s (my mother) to celebrate my brother’s birthday. The subject of my sister’s wedding came up and everyone was talking excitedly about it; asking her about her dress, her colors……and the whole time I’m listening to this I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m the one who should be raving about my wedding, I’m the one who should be showing a picture of my wedding gown, I’m the one who should be showing off my wedding colors.” However, I’m not even engaged. I feel ripped off, I’m jealous and envious, depressed and angry, and the only thing I want to do is hang my head down and cry. I hated everyone at my mom’s house and I walked out of the room. I feel ashamed because I should be happy but I’m not. The feelings are selfish but I can’t help it. I am resenting my sister right now because my boyfriend has yet to propose. It makes me think that he is afraid to commit. The fact that I love him so much and I would marry him in a heartbeat makes my pain even greater.

Bello said that he and his friend were talking about ways to propose. I’m afraid to get my hopes up because I am afraid that when he does propose, it probably won’t be for another year or so. I know he’ll read this and be upset with me for posting this but I feel so hopeless right now. We’ve been together for seven years and he’s promised for the last five that we will get married, that he will propose but he doesn’t want to be rushed. Well, I’m tired of waiting and I am tired of hurting. Hopefully something good will happen in the NEAR future so that the waiting and the hurting will disappear. I won’t get my hopes up but I will continue to be optimistic.

Send Them to Iraq

2007-01-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

I have this abhorrent love/hate relationship with the ACLU. Our civil liberties need to be protected, I agree, but when organizations such as the ACLU take it too far, it defaults to protecting one’s so-called civil rights at the expense of the general population’s rights.

Last year in one of my Criminal Justice classes, my instructor provided a link to an article on the ACLU’s website, where a Jewish man was revoked from his kosher meal in lieu of punishment. My first thought was 1) What gives these prisons the right to cut off anyone, including a prisoner, their right to food? and 2) Why the hell is this man being served kosher food instead of the same food that the other prisoners eat?

Prisoners in America should be fed three square meals a day and allowed at least twenty minutes of exercise. In addition, prisoners should be working for their room and board. Punishment should not consist of solitary confinement and instead prisoners should be required to do push ups or some form of additional physical exercise. Prisons should be operated like boot camps. The prisoners should be trained for the military. If these criminals are so hell bent on murder, then why not train them to take their aggression out on our enemies? These prisoners could have been put to great use in Iraq; we should have trained them to fight for Operation Iraqi Freedom. After all, they are the ones with the taste of blood in their mouths. I know I’m generalizing here but you have to admit, it’s a great idea.

Starvation should never be used as a means for punishment. I don’t believe in it. I don’t believe in sending your child to bed without any dinner and I certainly don’t believe in withholding meals from prisoners. Maybe our President acts like an animal but that doesn’t mean we have to. If you want to treat your prisoners like animals, move to a third world country where they all behave like animals.

I also don’t believe that your religion should provide just cause for your diet. You eat what is on the prison menu and if you don’t like it, tough shit. Unless you have an apparent allergy to a food, you have two choices; to eat or not to eat, that is the question. I have another idea, if your family is willing to pay for your special meals, and it does not come out of the taxpayer’s pockets, then by all means, please eat your special meals. Aside from that, I don’t feel that my hard earned money should have to provide you with certain foods that your religion dictates.

I don’t mean to be so harsh here but if you are so dedicated to your religion then why the fuck are you in prison?

Rosie - O Donald

2007-01-11T11:10:00.000-08:00

If the media would just shut up about it, this “feud” would not have escalated beyond the point of embarrassment. Then again, here I am writing about it myself. Guilty pleasures are always a sinful concept that turns that little spark in me into a raging flame. I can’t help it; I just LOVE gossip.

Rosie first makes a comment about Donald, who allowed Miss America to keep her crown after allegedly drinking under age, “[Donald has no right to be] the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America.” I disagree. Under what basis does this statement qualify as fact? Because Trump has filed for business bankruptcy? It certainly couldn’t be because he was a bad father considering his children are very smart, earned top grades in education and have not created controversy amongst themselves unlike most celebrity’s offspring.

So, let’s take a look at Mr. Trump’s bankruptcy issue.

According to the State of Indiana, Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Holdings, L.P. and Trump Hotels & Casino Funding, Inc., filed for Chapter 11 and agreed to operate under the supervision of the Federal Government, in addition to paying back it’s creditors through aged bonds. Once the bonds have been distributed, the company will be released to hopefully stand on its own. It’s true that Trump got away with not paying a massive amount, say 8 million, but that is nothing compared to Worldcom’s 103 billion dollar pay off. Mr. Trump hasn’t committed any fraud but Worldcom fraudulently over reported their earnings by 12 billion dollars.

What about the airline industries? What about them, you ask?

As of 2006, over half of the airline industry’s PAYING passengers have purchased ticket’s to sit in bankrupt seats. These airlines that use 9/11 as an excuse to gauge your hard earned money have stopped making their payments to their creditors which is freeing monies to expand routes and create price wars against their competitors AND THE BANKRUPTCY COURTS APPROVE OF THIS! The next time you’re on an airplane, think about this – not only did you pay for an overpriced ride but you are also paying for their debt through your federal taxes.

Well now, Mr. Trump’s bankrupt companies seem to be a minute “cha-ching” in the old Chapter 11 clause. Wouldn’t you think?

So Rosie, I don’t care for Trump either, but then again, I don’t care for you too. I admire what you do for Breast Cancer but your loud mouthed accusations are flat out annoying. Here’s some advice, Rosie (you might want to pay attention too, Miss Walters) the next time you make a statement on someone and claim they have no right to do or say anything, you better make sure that your reasoning behind your words don’t fall short of an erroneous claim. In other words, have a fair reason as to why you believe someone has “no right” to do something and then back it up with proof. Otherwise, you just sound like an asshole.

You too, Trump - calling Rosie "lazy" a "slob" a "degenerate" - no need. What are you? Ten?

GROW UP! BOTH OF YOU!

Clouded Vision

2007-01-10T09:42:00.000-08:00

Bella Snow

Bello is really coming along with his photography. He's a natural. He makes me look good.

Mistaken Identity

2007-01-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

This morning I was listening to Rob, Arnie and Dawn. I don't really like these people considering Dawn annoys the hell out of me but nonetheless, it's something to listen to since Howard Stern went to Sirius.

Curiousity got the best of me and when I arrived at work, I logged onto their website and found an archived story about 5 car crash victims in Michigan where 4 were killed by a truck driver. One of those victims was suppose to be Whitney Cerak and the only surviving victim in a coma was suppose to be Laura VanRyn. When Whitney emerged from her coma, Laura's parents noticed something odd about their "daughter"; she was claiming to be Whitney.

Laura VanRyn

Whitney Cerak

The parents, Law Enforcement, Coronor, Doctors, Nurses all confirmed that Whitney was in fact Laura. So, Whitney's parents buried Laura as their "daughter" and had a funeral for her. When the discovery was made that Laura was in fact Whitney, the correct people were notified and everything was sorted out.

"People have to keep in mind here that these two young women bore very striking similarities in their appearance, the same color hair, the same height, same body type, very similar facial features. It was understandable how this might have happened. But it happens so rarely and the fact that everybody's making such a big deal out of the story shows that it doesn't happen very often and do some sort of genetic testing to verify everybody that comes in your door when it's not necessary would not be a good use of resources."

I don't mean to be so insensitive here but I really don't see the similarities other than the color of the hair. These look like two very different girls and the article does not mention any facial bloating or disfigurement. I would imagine that it would be a highlight in the fact that they couldn't tell who was who due to disfigurement or bloating. That I can understand. So, let's assume that there wasn't any disfigurement involved; wouldn't you be able to tell if your child was "your child"?

I've done double takes on a child that resembled my own but I quickly knew that child was not my daughter.

I know every freckle, every scar, every hair out of place, every tooth position, every fingernail, position of her eyebrows.........on my daughter. A parent knows their child, knows the specific characteristics of their child. How can two people be similar but not twins and yet the parents were fooled into thinking that someone else's child was actually theirs?

I don't get it, I really don't.

I Commend You, Lt. Watada

2007-01-04T14:36:00.000-08:00

“I (insert name), having been appointed a (insert rank) in the U.S. Army under the conditions indicated in this document, do accept such appointment and do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter.”

This is the oath that Lieutenant Ehren Watada took when he joined the ARMY in 2003. The purpose of his mission was to protect our country against a country with weapons of mass destruction, a country that harbored terrorists and linked to al-Qaeda, a country that was looking to cause us harm. Lt. Watada went into the ARMY based on the principles of protecting our Constitution; protecting our rights to freedom.

Our President and our government built a façade based on illusions and lies.

“We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories. You remember when Colin Powell stood up in front of the world, and he said, Iraq has got laboratories, mobile labs to build biological weapons. They're illegal. They're against the United Nations resolutions, and we've so far discovered two. And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them.” President G.W. Bush (This is a bold faced lie considering the Defense Intelligence Agency that conducted the examination of the labs determined that they were probably used to produce hydrogen for artillery weather balloons. Why didn’t the President mention that?)

"The battle of Iraq is one victory in a war on terror that began on September the 11, 2001 -- and still goes on. That terrible morning, 19 evil men -- the shock troops of a hateful ideology -- gave America and the civilized world a glimpse of their ambitions. They imagined, in the words of one terrorist, that September the 11th would be the 'beginning of the end of America.' By seeking to turn our cities into killing fields, terrorists and their allies believed that they could destroy this nation's resolve, and force our retreat from the world. They have failed." President G.W. Bush (Correct me if I am wrong, but doesn’t this suggest a link between Iraq and al-Qaeda?)

“Saddam Hussein had a lengthy history of reckless and sudden aggression. He cultivated ties to terror -- hosting the Abu Nidal organization, supporting terrorists, and making payments to the families of suicide bombers. He also had an established relationship with al Qaeda -- providing training to al Qaeda members in areas of poisons, gases and conventional bombs. He built, possessed, and used weapons of mass destruction. And he refused or evaded all international demands to account for those weapons.” Dick Cheney (Hmmm. Let’s think about this one. The U.S. Intelligence community argued over conflicting evidence of an operational relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda, thus never acknowledging truth to this. Another misleading example.)

These are only three out of thousands of statements made by the President and the Vice President to our nation and convincing hundreds of thousands of Americans that we did the right thing by invading Iraq. These statements are what caused Lt. Watada to enlist. However, most of those statements in reference to al Qaeda and/or Iraq were false:

“Because of the gravity of the subject and the President’s unique access to classified information, members of Congress and the public expect the President and his senior officials to take special care to be balanced and accurate in describing national security threats. It does not appear, however, that President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Secretary Rumsfeld, Secretary Powell, and National Security Advisor Rice met this standard in the case of Iraq. To the contrary, these five officials repeatedly made misleading statements about the threat posed by Iraq. In 125 separate appearances, they made 11 misleading statements about the urgency of Iraq’s threat, 81 misleading statements about Iraq’s nuclear activities, 84 misleading statements about Iraq’s chemical and biological capabilities, and 61 misleading statements about Iraq’s relationship with al Qaeda.” Iraq on the Record Report

In addition to the false statements, we are fighting for Operation Iraqi Freedom. If Iraq is a free country or not, how does that affect our Constitution? We aren’t over there fighting for our country, we are over there fighting for Iraq.

Shall we review?

Lt. Watada enlisted because he felt that Iraq posed as a threat to our country with their WMDs. He was also under the impression that Iraq was linked to al Qaeda. The troops are fighting to free another country. Sounds noble, right? Fighting for another country. But read that again. FIGHTING FOR ANOTHER COUNTRY.

That’s not what the ARMY’s oath requires its men to do. It requires them to fight for our country.

Anyone know what that means?

BREACH OF CONTRACT, MY FRIEND.

You Beleive Them?

2007-01-03T12:37:00.000-08:00

I am among many who has the desire to educate myself on the warming of our world. I have watched many shows with well known researchers who back up these "perfidious lies" that debunk our world as perfect. I have yet to see An Inconvenient Truth, and I assure you, it is on my Netflix Queue.

You'll have to excuse my lofty tone for I have yet to turn a blind eye against something that is right in my face. I do sometimes wish I can be just as ignorant as others but my conscience prevents me from not wanting to protect my future relatives whether I am alive or not.

So, why is it that so many refuse to accept this possible earth shattering FACT? I am more inclined to beleive studies produced by the EPA than those produced by Exxon. It is fact that everyone agrees that population has been affluent in the past 100 years or so, yet some scientists feel that this large denomination of human growth has no effect at all on the atmosphere. I'm sorry, but you flagrant scientists must take me for a jackass.

I apologize for being such a gullible, idiotic, unsophisticated sucker for beleiving that billions of people creating infinity polluted toxins in the air has absolutely no effect on our planet. I should have known better.

I suppose I better write a letter of apology also to Phillip Morris for ever beleiving that smoking causes lung cancer. What was I thinking beleiving such crap?

Just think, there are people out there who actually beleive these studies produced by companies like Exxon and Philip Morris. Is it me, or do these people suffer from a serious case of Assholism? Either that or a serious brain defficiency.

Extremely Brilliant!

2006-12-22T13:23:00.000-08:00

The Crime Game

2006-12-21T14:47:00.000-08:00

I am an irregular current events observer considering I detest the crap that pervades the network circuits and provides humanity with oppressive tales of violence and debauchery. It’s sickening and it’s utter crap; throw something good at me, something worth watching and something that will make the light bulb in my brain flash, “Hey! That’s fanfuckingtastic! Why didn’t I think of that?”

Instead, the idiot box captivates our minds and instills a sense of fear, depression and anger. We hear about the murders, kidnappings or abductions (yes, people, there is a difference), theft and general crime and then there’s that split second, that if you blink you’ll miss it, where the beautiful light flashes with that happy news and then it disappears into the darkness like a ghost.

“Scientists today found a cure for cancer by simply mixing baking soda and chocolate.”

“Today, over one hundred cars on the south side of Satantown were broken into, destroyed and blown to pieces. No word on who committed the crime and police have little clue as to who is responsible for the vandalism. Police suspect gasoline was used to ignite the interior of the cars hence, causing the cars to explode and generate an ungodly-alien-like-scream that could be heard for miles.” – This goes on for 59 minutes and 52 seconds.

I took the above from an actual report from our local news team. It is a bit exaggerated. Okay, way exaggerated but it does hold some truth to it. There were over 100 cars that were vandalized in the Sacramento area. People’s car windows were knocked out but nothing was stolen. The whole time I’m watching this, I’m thinking to myself, “What the hell kind of people are we breeding here?”

We are mass producing these thugs like fucking ant farms and they destroy people and their possessions. What is the point of bashing in someone’s car windows? Where’s the logic in that?

“Well, I do these things because I grew up poor and I dropped out of school. It makes me feel better when I bash out car windows. That’s what society gets for treating me like I’m stupid.”

Blah, blah, blah, blah….that’s every excuse for every asshole out there who blames society for his criminal life. They’ve been dealt every shitty card but the blame card. That’s reserved for us; the ones who are productive in society, the ones who are successful and work hard to get where we are. We’re the ones to blame for their misuse of their life.

Read Carefully!

2006-12-20T12:51:00.000-08:00

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on).

On your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is another galloping horse; both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you .

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star.

* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *

The Great Big Announcement

2006-12-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

Bello’s mom sends out a news letter every year around Christmas time to update everyone about our lives. I think it’s great. This time, she decided to include mine, Bello’s sister’s and Bello’s blog for everyone to check out. The only problem with mine is that I haven’t updated much lately. School takes most of my time and when school is out for that short period of time, the last thing I want to do is hang out on the computer more.

I have done lots of shopping outdoors and online. Of course you know about the online incident. I still haven’t heard any word of it. Dang, that just pisses me off. Oh well, your karma can really begin to suck when you screw over a witch.

School has actually been going really good this time around. I am enjoying it. For those of you who have forgotten what I am majoring in, it’s Criminal Justice. My goal is to work on solving missing children cases and capturing child predators. I don’t think that our laws are really tough enough for those who prey on our children. If a person molests a child once, they should remain behind bars for the rest of their lives because it is a proven fact that any type of mental health or rehabilitation doesn’t work. What we do is put them in prison for so many years and let them out to destroy another child’s life by emotionally and/or physically scaring that child or possibly killing him/her. To me, this sends a message to our children that we don’t care enough about them. Well, once I hit the streets when I graduate, you bet your ass I will do everything in my power to change those laws. I’m with you on that OPRAH!

Remember that really good news that I wanted to tell you about but I feared a certain person might read my blog and find out before it was time for them to know? Well, the time has come to reveal my great big plans because 1) they know now and 2) they don’t read my blog anyway, come to find out. So, are you ready for this?

My father has offered to allow Bello, Belle and I to live in his HUGE home, rent free. Can you believe that???? Of course, we will be responsible for maintaining a few acres of grass, a huge home to clean and outrageous utility bills but it beats what we are paying right now for rent and we will have plenty of time to save for our own home. I am so excited!

USA PATRIOT Act

2006-12-06T16:33:00.000-08:00

1. Do you support the USA PATRIOT Act? Why or why not?

2. What are some Pros and Cons of the USA PATRIOT Act?

Help me out here because I know a lot of cons but I can't think of one pro.

Andrew Edmond

2006-12-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

I was scammed by this asshole. You better read it, pay attention and never forget these companies. I was dupped out of $70 when I canceled my transaction twenty minutes after I made the purchase. On their sites they claim that they will respond within 4-24 hours but they never do. They have claimed that they shipped my product but I have yet to see that as well.

BE CAREFUL and never purchase from these sites!

Grateful Cat

2006-11-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

A co-worker of mine asked me to take her kitty because she felt that I would provide a loving and safe home for her baby. The white kitty, Jade, is the one I will be inheriting.

My co-worker had adopted two dogs and Jade hasn't taken to well to them. She is frightened by them and hides frequently to avoid the dogs. The other kitty could careless about them.

On Friday, we will be adding another family member and hopefully she will behave better than our boys and not run away from us. Jeez, I didn't think we were that bad at parenting pets. Sammy likes us but then again he doesn't have the option to bolt out the front door or jump off the balcony. We are presented with a second chance and hopefully we will do better this time.

Of course we will give her a new name, Alethia, which means "truthful; mythological goddess of truth". Alethia (Al-thee-uh) is my pagan name and it is also a title of a song made famous by the Grateful Dead.

Raiders of the Lost Owner

2006-11-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

Bello and I were on speaker phone with my brother Tony last night. Of course, sports is always the topic; mainly baseball with a touch of football.

Me: I read that Jon Bon Jovi wants to buy the Oakland Raiders.

Tony: What?? No way! Jon Bon Jovi?

Bello: They should call themselves The Jon Bon Raiders.

Me & Tony: (Uncontrollable laughter)

Bello: Their team motto could be “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

Me & Tony: (More uncontrollable laughter (the pee-in-your-pants-cough-and-choke-laugh))

Tony: That’s some funny shit.

Black Jack

2006-11-16T15:43:00.000-08:00

24 years ago my grandparents bought a time share in Tahoe. The Ridge Tahoe is suppose to be an elegant place; ritzy, gorgeous view and all the amenities that a “club” has to offer.

I remember staying there when I was younger and the place was so nice. My friends would gawk at it because these condos were so well taken care of. They should be well taken care of considering the money my grandparents paid to have it.

Me, my mom and a couple of my friends went up last weekend and we stayed at our time share. I hadn’t been there in almost ten years, maybe a little longer. I was so excited and I totally bragged about how beautiful this place was to my friends. When we walked in, my mother and I were shocked. The carpets were old and stained; looking like the carpets you would find in sleazy hotels. The beds were disgusting with their Motel 8 comforters and starchy sheets. The couch was stained with gawd knows what. It smelled really bad and the heat didn’t work. I was so disappointed. I couldn’t believe that the club would allow our time share to become so runned down and filthy.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, we were told that the shuttle service closed at three o’clock everyday.

Me: What????

Girl: Yep. The shuttle no longer runs until 2 AM.

Me: How do we get back?

Girl: There’s another shuttle that we provide but it’s $5.00 per person each way. It’s a private service unrelated to us.

Me: What happened to “free” or “included for owners”?

Girl: I know, we don’t like it either but it’s what the club decided.

Mom: What do you mean “we don’t like it either”? Change it back if the club doesn’t like it.

Girl: We can’t. The board members decided to close our shuttle service and hire a private one.

A friend of ours that lives near Tahoe came to visit us and she took us down to the casino. We were having fun and actually winning on BlackJack when one guy came to the table (looking like The Outsiders; leather jacket, greased back hair and all) and ruined it for everyone. There always has to be some drunken asshole that wrecks the game by thinking with his inebriated brain that the dealer is going to deal him a three to turn his King and 8 into 21. The dealer was showing a possible soft 17, which she would have had to draw on and this dumb shithead says “hit” while he’s holding the King and the 8. WTF?????

The dealer deals him a Queen. Well, guess who’s sitting next to him with a 5 and a 6? That’s right, ME! I bet my last chips on this game, ended up with 15 and the dealer ended up with 20. That Queen was mine and I should have won. But nooooooo.

I hate drunk greasers named Jeff.

Yo, Jeff! Matt Dillon called and he wants his fucking head back!

So I Over Reacted

2006-11-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

This week I received an email from Kaplan University; the school I attended before transferring to University of Phoenix. In retrospect, I had to leave KU before they suspended me for some insane crap they accused me of; plagiarism. I plagiarized once, the second offense was a punctual error and not an actual plagiarization issue and the third was just preposterous - I had plagiarized Algebra. In addition, I had failed Algebra twice already and with a third strike in plagriarism = automatically failing the class and receiving an F for the third time in Algebra. This meant that I had a double expulsion against me because of the three strikes law. Apparently it not only applies to criminals but to us students as well.

Courtesy of the assholes at Kaplan:

Dear Bella,

Congratulations on your graduation from Kaplan University. We know how proud you must feel now that you have almost completed this important goal. You are a valued student and we have enjoyed working with you.

Many of your fellow graduates will be returning to Kaplan University to continue their education and complete their long term goals. If you would be interested in receiving further information about your education options or continuing with one of our programs, please contact me directly through email or a phone call so I may assist you appropriately.

Due to the high volume of returning student requests, I may not have the opportunity to make initial contact by calling you via phone. As a successful student at Kaplan University, I want to make sure that your file is a priority.

Please feel free to contact me at 888-252-7895, ext. 3262. Thank you for your continued interest in Kaplan University. I do look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in Education,

Ashley Harpool
Office of Returning Students
Telephone: 888-252-7895 ext 3262
E-Fax: 888-852-4047 (toll-free)
aharpool@kaplan.edu

www.kaplanuniversity.com

And of course, courtesy of moi:

Dear Ashley,

I didn't graduate this year because Kaplan fucked me over in my classes and I had to go to another school where a quarter of my credits were recognized and I have to now start over and continue with four more years of school, thanks to the wonderful Kaplan University.

I have a question for you. Do you people there communicate? I haven't attended that school since July. Does Kaplan not finish their paperwork and notify departments that students have left the school? I didn't think so considering the instructors there can't differentiate between plagiarizing and tutoring in an algebra class. But then again, who's ever heard of plagiarizing Algebra, right?

I would appreciate it if this fucking school would stop calling me, emailing and congratulating me on my "job well done" when I was screwed over by this shit-hole school. Comprende?

Unsincerely,

Bella Snow (Now a student at a REAL University)

Okay, so I over reacted. I think they may have gotten the point. For those of you with a mean streak in you, feel free to contact Miss Ashley and the Kaplan freaks, and lend them a peice of your mind.

Dallas Sheraton

2006-11-14T11:01:00.000-08:00

There is something that I just don’t understand about the celebrity world. How the hell does someone like Paris Hilton become famous?

Because she’s a hotel heiress…blah…blah…blah…

Her parents are filthy rich…..blah…blah….blah

She's good at attracting attention to herself….blah….blah…..blah

She’s gorgeous…..bullshit…..bullshit…..bullshit

None of these are valid reasons as to why Paris Hilton is famous. Why aren’t the heirs of the Embassy Suites, Holliday Inn, The Marriott or Crowne Plaza famous? They’re filthy rich, probably have beautiful people in their family and could possibly attract a lot of attention towards themselves. What makes these people so different from The Hiltons?

What the hell makes the Hilton sisters so damn special????

Unlike the Hilton’s these people don’t put the “ho” in their hotels; their children are well educated, pride themselves in being smart and logical, focus on business relations and are probably the type of people who discipline their children and teach their children what a dollar is worth. Of course this is just my opinion and I have no relative proof to back up my claim.

HOWEVER

I did do a little googling to find out who some of these people are that own some of America’s most prestigious hotels. There’s virtually nothing on the internet about any of the owners of these major hotel chains. By a fluke, I eventually came upon a hilarious website that broadcasts spoofs of Paris Hilton.

Ladies and Gentleman, may I introduce to you,

Dallas Sheraton

Move over Paris Hilton, there’s a new HO in town.

Side Effects Include

2006-11-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

Laziness, Extreme Fits of Laughter, "Who Cares" Attitude, Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, TV Addiction, Incoherent Random Babbling, Mistaken Identity Syndrome (you have mistakenly taken me for a person who gives a shit), Amnesia, Loss of Family, Friends, Pets, Job & Home.

But WHO CARES? You've got Fukitol - the one drug that will make you literally say

FUCK IT ALL!

Smell You Later

2006-11-08T09:48:00.000-08:00

This weekend I had done some laundry and picked out my outfit to wear to work on Monday. I decided to wear one of my “wrinkle-free” blouses. I like those kinds of blouses because I suck at ironing. Anyway, when I changed the laundry on Saturday, I had noticed there was a load in the washer already and Belle had mentioned that she did a load of laundry. I didn’t think anything of it so I told her to put the clothes in the dryer for me while I gather up another load.

Here comes Monday and I look good in my outfit, I have my blouse on and a cute white sweater over it and as I sat down at my desk, I began to smell something funny. It couldn’t be me; I don’t smell. I take long baths or showers every night. Why the hell would I smell, dammit???

This smell wouldn’t go away and I was becoming more and more irritated because….because…WELL IT WAS JUST IRRITATING ME, PEOPLE!

1,2,3,……

Deep breath…

I took off my sweater so that I could find out if in fact I was the smelly person in the office. As I took off my sweater, my forehead began to sweat, I can feel the beads form near my eyebrow, my hands were shaking and all I could think of was, “Please God, don’t let me be the smelly person in the office. I would just die if I became the smelly person. I can’t be smelly, I bathe. I swear on my life! I bathe!!!” As the sweater slid off my arms, this rush of odor came pouring out of my clothing and all I can smell was this musty stench emanating from my beautiful blouse. I was horrified, mortified and mystified. How could this happen to me? Why did this happen to me?

I’m gonna kill that kid. I was on a war path.

I went home for lunch so that I could change my blouse. I decided to check all the clothes that were recently washed to make sure that none of them smelled. I found a whole batch. Then I found the shirt that I had spilled sauce on and I remembered putting the stain remover on. I put it in the washer last Thursday. It smelled to.

DOH! (Slap the forehead)

Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid

I'll Be Back

2006-11-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

Now you can read this! I had inadvertently posted this last week. I clicked on Publish instead of Save. You get the point......

Today is election day. It's the day where those who haven't added their names to the permanent absentee ballot, go to the polls and vote for their favorite politician. You do remember the true meaning of politicians, don't you?

Poli = Many
Tics = Blood Sucking Creatures

So, on this day, will you vote for who you feel will make your state comfortable? Or do you vote solely based on party? I would ponder that question before you go out and vote for some unscrupolous, deceitful, two-faced, asinine jackass with some mercenary promise to help the average blue collar worker but laughs all the way to the bank while your healthcare premiums skyrocket to space and your left with an empty bank account thanks to the many blood sucking creatures who want to tax your hard earned money to death for the next two years so that they can take your money and pocket it for their next campaign. Did you say that all in one breath? Or did you say that there was just a little bit of bullshit in all of that?

Go ahead, call me on it.

Our Governator did nothing for our state. But what I can tell you is that the major corporations were given a huge tax break if they promised to fund his next campaign. So, who do you think made up for all those taxes that these major corporations didn't have to pay? Us, the working class; the lower class. Now ask your self who's really funding their campaigns.

You might want to find out who the person you are voting for receives their campaign money from. You may think that it's these major corporations who are funding it. Think again.

I have to confess though, I have that bad, bad feeling that the Governator will be back.

What Happened to Herman?

2006-11-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Scratch That

2006-11-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

So I messed up and forgot to change the date on Blogger. You weren't suppose to read the election day post until next week. So, come back next week and read it again. For those of you who are scratching your heads and wondering what the hell I'm talking about

NEVERMIND

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T12:32:00.000-08:00

Or as I would say Happy Samhain!

I hope you keep your children safe and watch out for predators. I suggest that those of you with small children, look up the site for your local child predator list and find out where the predators are in your area so that you can be sure to keep your children away. If you know of a predator in your area and you notice that they have their front porch light on or decorations tonight, notify your local police so that they can be sure that predator does not attract any children.

To all my pagan friends - Happy New Year! May your wishes of November's Eve come true and may you remember well your loved ones who have passed on.

Dear IT Dept. PISS OFF!!!

2006-10-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

What is this once a week blog shit, you ask? It’s called trying to keep up with school. Man, this whole school thing is taking FOREVER, people! Who goes to college for four years and has not yet obtained so much as a certificate for something?!?!?!? Me, that’s who.

There goes the ADD.

I was emailing this old friend of mine who happened to contact me on My Space; this email was super freakin long, right? Out of nowhere, I get slapped with the B.S.O.D. Anyone who works for a corporate company knows the Blue Screen of Death. It’s where your computer pulls out the asshole chip and shuts down on you, changing your beautiful wallpaper into a blue screen with nothing but a bunch of gibberish on it. Aliens have invaded my computer. As if that wasn’t enough, whenever you get said B.S.O.D., you have to contact the IT Department. So I did.

IT: Hello, Bella. What’s wrong now?

(What’s wrong now??? As if I come to work everyday and look forward to screwing up my computer so that IT can waste their time fixing it!)

Me: I have the B.S.O.D.!!!!

IT: What were you doing at the time?

Me: Nothing. (defensively)

IT: You were doing absolutely nothing and the blue screen just popped up.

Me: Yes. (defiantly)

IT: Bella, what were you doing?

Me: Okay, I was emailing from personal email.

IT: Gmail?

Me: No, the other kind.

IT: What other kind?

Me: You know, the other kind.

IT: You were on My Space weren’t you?

Me: Okay, I was on My Space but all I was doing was emailing an old friend. I swear.

IT: Bella, Bella, Bella. Were gonna have to meet with your boss and discuss this issue about being on the internet during company time.

Me: What? I take my break everyday at three. You can even see on the history that I had just logged on. The company policy says I am allowed to go on those sites as long as I am on break.

IT: I’m sorry, Bella. We are calling your boss right now to discuss this. Would you please come over to the IT department?

My heart was pounding; that short walk to the other side of the building seemed like it took five hours.

Me: Can’t we resolve this without involving my boss?

IT: What are you talking about?

Me: You just told me to come over because you wanted to discuss this whole internet thing with my boss.

IT: (They all look at each other) Bella, are you okay today? Did you fall and hit your head?

Me: Come on you guys stop. This isn’t funny.

IT: Were not laughing.

Me: Whatever.

I walked out and all I can hear is all four of those swampy IT bastards laughing their asses off at me.

Me: What are you guys laughing at?

IT: You’re so gullible, Bella.

I HATE ALL YOU I.T. PEOPLE!!!!!!

Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

2006-10-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

To: The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

Senate Office Building

309 Hart

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

Mrs. Coffee

2006-10-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

We have this on going probelm at work that never seems to fall short at EVERY WORKPLACE one goes to.

There are those who like weak coffee and there are those who prefer strong. The issue is (and I am sure this one wasn't hard to figure out) the people in this office still make weak coffee. The kind of weak that when you fill your cup up, you can see right through it, provided you have a clear cup. I was curious myself and used a clear cup once to see just how weak the coffee actually is. Let's put it this way, that coffee was so weak, that people who like weak coffee said, "Damn that's some weak ass coffee!" Is my complaint valid yet? Are you gettin' this?

Why doesn't it register that in the weak person's mind (oh wow, no pun intended) (yeah right) that you can always add water to your cup to make the coffee weak? What is so difficult about doing that?

Oh and another thing, we bought an extra coffee pot specifically labeled for strong coffee.

STOP MAKING YOUR WEAK ASS COFFEE IN IT!

You see what I have to put up with? You try and try to compromise but I always wind up getting kicked in the ass anyway.

Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid!

Can someone please pass the Xanax?

(RED)

2006-10-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of it yet? (RED) is the new campaign to help fight AIDS in Africa. It's an awesome campaign and EVERYONE SHOULD BE IN (RED)!

Well, red happens to be my favorite color and I cannot wait to own a new (RED) Motorola Razor phone, or a pair of (RED) Converse, or some (RED) Gap Shirts, and even though I had no intentions of buying an iPod, for the sake of this campaign, I will buy the (RED) iPod Nano.

Finally something has come about to help distract me from the rest of the problems that have plagued this world. I would rather focus on something where a positive motive results in positive thinking and feeling good that I am helping a wonderful cause.

I am tired of the war, I am tired of Iraq, I am tired of politicians, I am tired of the President. I have other things to look forward to and that's helping Africa with AIDS and helping to provide medication that will stop pregnant mothers from spreading it to their unborn children.

We should be so lucky here in America that we have this kind of medication at our disposal however, the people in Africa, they aren't that lucky. So, myself and many others will do our best to help supply that medication by purchasing the (RED) products.

For every (RED) phone that is bought, $17.00 will go to AIDS in Africa. If ten phones were sold, that would give thousands of pregnant women medication for a month. I think that's awesome.

Hopefully I will be out of debt enough to purchase these items. If not, I can always encourage everyone else.

Check out the (RED) products. They're very, very cool. Don't forget the good cause that comes with it.

Up Yours!

2006-10-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

I subscribe to this ezine called Up Yours!. It's a weekly ezine where Chadwick's intent is to insult you. That's if you decide to send in a comment about the article. I subscribe because he points out our pathetic country and shines a not-so-flattering light on it and exposes the truth in word peircing fashion. I love him. Last week he wrote about the national debt. Subscribers are able to comment on his articles and they are shown in the following week's ezine. Chadwick comments back in a not so subtle way.

I thought you would get a kick out of his dark humor. Below I have shared with you last week's ezine. When I read the comments about last week's in this week's ezine, one stood out like a sore thumb. Or should I say one guy has definitely redefined the word moron.

"Dear Narcoleptics,

Were any of you pinheads sober enough to read the news lately?
If you were you will have noticed that the U.S. national debt
has now exceeded seven trillion dollars.

Since most of you have trouble counting higher than ten with-
out taking your shoes off, let me put that in numbers even
you can understand.

Let's say an average person graduates from college at 21 years
old. He or she works from then until retirement at 65. That
gives the average person 44 years of income. Let's further say
that a person will make an average of $50,000 per year. You
will probably start out making much less, but when you retire
you will probably be making significantly more. So, as an
average, we'll say that over 44 years you'll make $50,000 per
year.

Using these numbers you will, in your working life, earn a
gross total of $2,200,000 (two million, two hundred thousand
dollars). If you donated every cent of your income, before
taxes, to paying off the national debt, it would take you
three million, one hundred and eighty-two thousand years to
do it.

Better get started.

"But hang on a minute, you well-hung sexual magician reeking
of machismo," you say, "the last time the United States had
a balanced budget was in 1965. What the hell difference does
it make to me, the average retard, if the national debt is
seven trillion dollars?"

What difference indeed. Did you know that last year the U.S.
Government spent $318 billion on interest payments on the
National Debt. Not on principle, mind you, on interest. That's
nearly 17 percent of the entire budget.

What happens when 20 percent of the budget goes toward interest
payments? What about 25? What about 30 percent? I'll tell you
what's going to happen. Socialism.

The government is going to become a bloated, corrupt empire,
gorging itself on the dwindling produce of the brain-washed
citizenry under it and belching forth bureaucracy in a per-
petuating cycle of fiscal cannibalism.

Private enterprise will become an almost forgotten fantasy
as capitalism surrenders to sky-rocketing inflation and
unemployment. Luxury items will become scarcer and scarcer
(except for those privileged few in the Politburo) and the
quality of basic necessities and services will deteriorate
until it will take you six months just to buy, for $50, a
bottle of aspirin that was made in Canada!

Not that you'll get to take any of them. Because on the way
home from the pharmacist you'll most likely be mugged by the
roaming gangs of criminals driven to desperation by the
rampant unemployment. Then you can buy back a couple of your
aspirin the next day on the black market for ten bucks a pop.

But don't worry about it. Read your dick jokes, drink your
Old Milwaukee, masturbate to your online porn and let the
television pacify you into believing that the cuntry is
moving onward and upward.

Dumbasses.

I need a drink,

Chadwick"

The comment of a moron:

Horse Hockey, Chadwick. You say, "the U.S. national debt has
now exceeded seven trillion dollars." This must be false.
George Bush got those f**king liberals out of control of the
country just in time. He has proved that their alleged
surplus was a pretence. Even you could not have wiped that
budget out and dipped into the pot to help enough of your
friends in these few years to end up with a debt of the
amount you claim it is. George Bush has too much integrity
to help his friends and has too many really smart people
around to allow such a thing to happen. --Komowkwa

Chad's brilliant response:

I didn't think people as stupid as you existed outside of
comedy movies, insane asylums and Alabama. Learn the dif-
ference between a budget surplus/deficit and the national
debt before I kill you. But if you think George Bush has
integrity you're already dead from the neck up.

Are all Bush followers this stupid?

Don't Proselytize

2006-10-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

In light of my post on Wednesday, I wanted to make clear that I have no disrespect towards any religion and I certainly don't want anyone feeling that I would never accept their beleifs. I was trying to find the right words to communicate with you and I was having a hard time because I tend to be harsh with defending what I feel is right. Eventually, I found a perfect article written by Terri Paajanen whom I beleive is an excellent communicator for the Pagan and Wiccan ways. I have followed my religion for 17 years now; I did not learn from the internet or covens, I learned by researching in libraries and choosing my own tradition. I mix quite a few religions, mostly Wicca, but I don't follow anything in particular. Trying to explain this is not easy however, Ms. Paajanen took the words right out of my mouth:

In case you're not familiar with the term, proselytize means to try to convert other people to your religion. Not only is this practice acceptable to those in other religions, it's actively pursued by some. This article explains why this is not done by pagans, and includes some of my own opinions on the matter.

No matter what most pagans may feel about some other religions and their behaviours, it's generally accepted that all religions are valid paths of spirituality. To try and change someone's religious views, implies that one religion is better than another. There is no limit to the number of ways to connect with the Divine. Which path a person chooses is between them and the Gods.

Now, there is a difference between proselytizing and sharing information. Answering questions for someone who is seeking some spiritual answers is not the same as trying to convert them. Because Wicca, witchcraft and other forms of paganism have gotten so much bad press over the last few hundred years, there is a lot of misinformation out there. Trying to ensure that new pagans have access to accurate information isn't the same as trying to convert people to paganism.

One form of proselytization that I have strong feelings against is Christian missionary work. Well-meaning Christians who travel all around the world, to teach the natives about God. In their efforts to bring 'civilization' to these people, they destroy the native religions and cultures. I makes me sad to think how many people lost their own religions, because another was forced upon them.

Be happy that you have found a spiritual path that suits you, and share information about it when other are interested, but don't try to tell others that your path is better than theirs. It's not.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Now you know a little more about me.

I AM NOT EVIL

2006-10-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

It is time that I get all religious on you. Why? Because I can.

I read an article about a Christian woman who feels that the Harry Potter books should be banned from schools because it encourages children to seek interests regarding the Wicca religion which is evil.

I cannot tell you how upset, angry, appalled and just outright pissed off I become when I read that some pompous imbecile makes a judgment against a religion that they know nothing about. They hear what they want to hear and believe what they want to believe. That is their right but when you start to incorporate lies about one’s religion, it becomes a personal attack on me.

I know my blog friends would never pass judgment on me so this goes out to those who are narrow-minded.

PAGANISM OR WICCA IS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH SATAN OR ANY OTHER DEVIL WORSHIPPING CULT.

Is there anything about that FACT that you don’t understand? Again, let me drill it into your head:

PAGANSIM + WICCA ≠ SATAN

Does that make sense to you?

Another issue to address is that when someone claims they are pagan or wiccan and practices a dark art; THEY ARE NOT CONSIDRED PAGAN OR WICCAN. We, who practice this religion, do not consider ANYONE who relates themselves to a dark art to be associated with our religion.

Now, let me give you a little lesson on my religion. I love my religion so much. I love casting spells, burning my candles and incense and sending a prayer to those who need safety, food or homes. I love sending warm thoughts to my family of how much I love them and how much I feel blessed to be apart of their lives. I love being out in Mother Nature experiencing her Earth and what she has to offer. I don’t litter, I conserve energy and gas, I pick up loose trash and I do my best to cause as little pollution as possible to protect our beloved land. When I cast and do my spells, I do not wish bad luck upon people and I do not use evil in my tradition.

As the Wiccan Rede says:

Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust.
Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.

For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out.
To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.

Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much.
Honor the Old Ones in deed and name,
let love and light be our guides again.

Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune.
Widdershins go when the moon doth wane,
and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.

When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two.
When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.

Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail.
When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.

When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth.
When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.

Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow.
Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.

Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's
insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.

Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland.
Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.

Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning.
White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.

Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine.
Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.

Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be.
Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.

As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain.
When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.

When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn.
As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.

Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all.
When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.

In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way.
When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.

Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall.
Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.

Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know.
When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.

With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.

Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.

Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.

These Eight words the Rede fulfill:

"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"

I can easily point out the blood and lives shed in the name of your religion. And you have the nerve to call me evil?

By the way – our star of the pentagram points up, not down.

Mom's Little Darling

2006-09-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Bella,

A few years ago, my daughter and her husband planned a wedding that would be split three ways; between her husbands’s parents, me and them. The wedding was supposed to be small and simple. A year later, my daughter and her husband decided to elope. Her husband’s parents were invited but I was excluded.

Now my daughter has decided that she wants the real deal equipped with 300 guests with a majority of them being her husband’s side of the family and her father’s. Her father and I are divorced.

My family lives half around the country and the only people attending are my son and I. My daughter became incensed when I told her that I would not fund such an expensive affair because she is already married and I wasn’t even invited to the first wedding.

Now there is great tension between my daughter and I and I am confused on how to solve the situation. I offered to pay for the honeymoon but she turned down my offer and has now disowned me. Any suggestions?

-Disowned in IL

Dear Disowned,

Your daughter appears to be a very spoiled, heartless and self-centered person. I cannot imagine my daughter excluding me from her eloped wedding but inviting the in-laws and then have the nerve to request that I pay for her second “real” wedding. Here’s my advice on your revenge:

1. Tell your daughter, “Go ahead, spend away. I don’t care.” Just don’t mention that you will pay for it. This way, when she tries to sue (believe me, a person like your daughter would stoop down that low) you can tell the judge, “I told her to buy whatever she wanted but I never said I would pay for it.” That should teach her a lesson. Or:

2. Get a hold of her guest list. Send out cancellation cards so that they arrive one day before the wedding. Boy, I’d love to see the look on your daughter’s face when she finds out that someone has cancelled her wedding. Or:

3. If you can’t get a hold of the guest list, call the reception hall and cancel it. Then have someone call back and book it for something else on that same day and time. It will require a deposit but it will be worth it. Or:

4. Find out where the groomsmen and groom have their tux. Cancel it! Same with the bridesmaid and maid of honor dresses. Or:

5. Call up the flower company the morning of the wedding and cancel those too.

Make sure if you choose to carry out one these revenges that you do it in a way that you won’t be caught. Like I said, your daughter would probably sue you.

Good luck!

~Bella

Shifting Focus for Politcal Attack

2006-09-28T12:08:00.005-07:00

I was reading the article about the shootings in Colorado. I have to say that I am completely stunned and at a loss for words. I cannot imagine the pain and the terror that those students, parents and community are going through. It’s Columbine all over again only the killer was a middle-aged white man.

It is uncommon for minorities to commit crimes such as sadistic killing, crime sprees, murder sprees and serial killing. The majority of these types of crime have been committed by white men. No one really knows the exact reason of why white men commit such crimes nor do we know what makes them tick.

These killers among us are the ones that we should be worried about. When we read or watch the news about isolated killings or crimes, our neighborhoods become a temporary watch tower and rightfully so. However, the chances of most of these crimes reoccurring are very slim.

I often like to converse with people on the Yahoo message boards about articles. However, there is something that really disturbed me when I was on the message boards discussing the Colorado incident. A person with the username of grimreaper1356 wrote this:

“A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT ATTACKS SCHOOL KIDS IN COLORADO! THE A.C.L.U. HAS ACCOMPLISHED THEIR DREAMS AT LAST. THEY HAVE KICKED GOD AND THE BIBLE OUT AND INSTALLED THE DEVIL PACKING ASSULT WEAPONS.GO DEMOCRATS GO! THE PARTY OF THE A.C.L.U., LIBERALS AND HOMOSEXUALS! GO DEMS GO!IF YOU CAN'T PORK THE KIDS IN THEIR RECTUM THEN SHOOT THEM DOWN!”

This attack is a very creepy one especially being posted by a person with the name of “grimreaper”. What does the A.C.L.U., God, The Bible, Satan, Democrats, Liberals, Homosexuals and rectums have to do with a crazy and deranged man, walking into a school, sexually assaulting innocent girls, killing one and then committing suicide? Any theories? Our country has gone so demented that we have now lowered ourselves to blame everything bad on either Republicans or Democrats. I realize that there have always been strong disagreements between both sides, but this is going too far. Even some people who claimed to be Republican were appalled by this person’s post. It makes no sense and lacks any systematic thought or humanness. That comment my friends, is very disturbing because it is a classic sign of a potential criminal and to be more exact – a left or right-winged extremist which in either case, both can be just as destructive.

I could have easily pointed out that one of the top prolific killers was a Republican advocate; Ted Bundy. However, it proves to be a fruitless motivator considering Bundy wasn’t influenced politically to murder. Well, I lied, I did power a response using Ted Bundy BUT I did point out the obvious restriction on political motive.

Thinking back on the anniversary of 9/11 which I avoided; I have to say that I am glad that I didn’t give in to all the “United America” agility. Read the discussions on message boards about articles that people have posted. Take into consideration the websites that bash Republicans and Democrats. Who are we kidding here, people? There’s nothing united about us and there never will be as long as we continue to blame others and refuse to accept responsibility for our own stupidity.

Wake up Republicans and Democrats! There are problems out there that are in desperate need of attention and that focus should be keeping our own people safe FROM US!

Sac is Wack!

2006-09-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

I live in the Sacramento area and I can tell you that the majority of people who occupy this area are pompous nit-wits. I become so fed up with this area that I often kick myself in the ass for moving here four years ago.

If you are not a local, you can forget about finding a job here. The native Sacramentoans are so high on themselves that they overlook your longevity, experience and skills and instead, scrutinize the areas in which you previously were employed. Their reasons? People from the Bay Area are moving to Sacramento and are taking the jobs away from the locals.

Well boo-fucking-hoo.

You people voted to expand your area with housing developments and more businesses but when the people move here from all over, you deny them employment because they are not tenth generation Sacramento residents. Let’s not forget the fact that you voted against affordable housing because you don’t want “those bad folks” ruining your neighborhoods. Let me get this straight, you want people to buy the “non-affordable” houses but you don’t want to employ them and you don’t want “affordable housing” in your area for those who you won’t employ. Something’s not making sense here. You see Sacramento, you have to give a little to receive a little. Make sense? Or are you people just too stupid to understand that?

On another subject, listen up Sacramento, it is NOT cheaper to live here. Now go back and read that sentence to make sure that you understand. The only thing that is cheaper is the price of buying a home and even that has skyrocketed. Otherwise, rent, food and gas are not cheaper. As a matter of fact, I have recently read in the classified section of the San Francisco Chronicle that rent in the Bay Area is equivalent to the rent in Sacramento. However, the average pay for an Executive in the Bay Area is around 80k but here in Sacramento, it’s about 40k. The cost of living between the Bay Area and Sacramento is not equivalent to half the salary.

In addition to that, we would have never agreed to move here if we knew you would refuse to employ us. We need some kind of income to pay your outrageous taxes, which by the way, we were willing to pay so that you locals wouldn't have to go broke.

Wake up, Sacramento! You wanted us, you got us. Do yourselves a favor and start employing us Bay Area people. You think you hate us now? Wait until we leave. Who do you think will have to pick up the huge tax tab that us Bay Area folks were paying? That’s right, Sacramentoans, YOU!

I Have No Remorse

2006-09-15T16:04:00.000-07:00

It’s about that time; the time where all the Halloween costumes appear in the stores, spooky and cute decorations on the shelves and the vast amount of candy. It’s that one time of the year where parents tell their children it’s okay to take candy from a stranger.

My self-control mysteriously disappears when I see those Halloween decorations. I hold back nothing and I feel no remorse when that cash register rings up $100. To me, it’s money well spent and Halloween is my exception to money overindulgence. I’d rather forbear food for the night than pass up an adorable decoration.

Every year, my collection of Halloween decor becomes larger and larger. Every year, we become more creative with how we decorate our apartment. I love our apartment during Halloween; it’s like walking into a haunted cave. It’s dark, spider web and spiders everywhere, pumpkin, licorice and caramel apple scented candles on the tables, window stick-ons, skeleton chalices, pumpkins, witches, ghosts, you name it, I have it.

My favorite decoration is a 4 foot tall little boy. He’s dressed as a ghost and when you walk past him, a sensor goes off and he laughs like a chipmunk and says either, “Happy Halloween, Boo, I see you, or Trick or Treat”. I call him my son. My second favorite is my beautiful and enchanted witch, Delilah. She comes equipped with fiber optic strings that change color. She’s a delightful little thing with a bewitching smile.

Pictures are a maybe, if I am so inclined to do so. I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised.

For now, I will force myself to go broke for there is no spell in the world that could break this hex called OVERSPEND ON CRAP YOU DON’T NEED.

Alone On A Desert Island

2006-09-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

What would you bring if you were alone on a desert island? Read that again because it doesn’t say Tropical Island or deserted island; it says a desert island. Moreover, the posing question of “what to bring” assumes the actuality of knowing you will be on a desert island. However, I don’t know anyone who would want to purposely place themselves alone on a desert island.

I was assiduously searching the net for essay topics and happened upon the subject: “Alone on a desert island”. Is it me, or is that an oxy-moron? Is there such a thing as a “desert island”? I was determined to unmask the truth about this mysterious place, so I stormed the internet with my “desert island” probe and this is what I came up with:

The water is a serene blue encompassing a humble island with three palm trees. It’s small, not much to it but not my idea of a desert island. Palm trees + blue water do not equal a desert island. Desert Island + Palm Trees equal Iran.

Now ponder the fact that you’re on a desert island in Iran. What would you bring?

A tarp, water, food, sun block, sun glasses, a book and a freakin OOZIE!

The Opposite of Intellectual

2006-09-12T12:53:00.000-07:00

I avoided everything about 9/11 yesterday. It’s not that I don’t care or that I am a heartless inhuman bitch or anything; I would rather not be reminded of it. Why would our television networks broadcast those events all over again? What has it accomplished? Is this a desperate attempt for that intemperate cretin we call the President of the United States to improve his approval ratings? I smell something putrid and it smells like a bunch of bullshit.

I was reading an opinion column from this pinhead Mona Charen and this is what she wrote:

There is every reason to suppose that if President Bush can hold on to the momentum he is currently establishing, his approval ratings should markedly improve. Here are just a few reasons:

1) Terror. The exposure and disruption of the London plot reminds Americans that our enemies are ceaselessly planning atrocities and that strong leadership in the war on terror remains the first priority for government.

2) The revelation that Richard Armitage leaked Valerie Plame's name has blown to smithereens the Democrat/MSM fable about a White House conspiracy to "out" her in retaliation for her husband's activism. Wilson stands revealed as a liar. There was no crime. Judith Miller spent weeks in jail and Lewis Libby faces trial -- all because the media hyped the false allegations of a publicity-seeking liar. The president should mention this in his next speech.

3) Gas prices are coming down, and a huge new U.S. supply of oil has been discovered in the deep waters of the Gulf of Mexico.

4) The economy is doing extremely well, posting 4 percent real GDP growth in the first half of 2006, and maintaining an historically low unemployment rate of 4.8 percent. Five and a half million new jobs have been created in the past three years.

5) The homicide rate in Baghdad is declining. In July, the Los Angeles Times reports, 1,800 bodies were delivered to the morgue. In August, after 8,000 U.S. and 3,000 Iraqi forces swept through the city attempting to quell sectarian violence, only a quarter of that number were killed.

6) The hurricane season was unexpectedly mild.

7) The Democrats remain the party of weakness and appeasement. Harvard hosts the ex-president of Iran. Jimmy Carter hugs Hezbollah. Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean says of the Iraq War: "The idea that we're going to win this war is an idea that, unfortunately, it's just plain wrong." Al Gore thinks global warming is a much more serious threat than al Qaeda. ABC is airing a mini-series that blasts the Clinton administration for malfeasance in pursuing Osama bin Laden.

Things could be a whole lot worse for President Bush and the Republicans.

Boy, this just pisses me off. You ignorant, obnoxious, political whore. I cannot believe that you wrote such ludicrous crap and posted it on the internet. Allow me to address each pointless squabble starting with number one:

NUMBER ONE: TERROR – The London Bombing DOES NOT remind us Americans that “enemies are ceaselessly planning atrocities and that strong leadership in the war on terror remains the first priority for government” You’re wrong, bitch! The London Bombing reminds us of how fucking stupid our President is because he went after Iraq instead Al Qaeda!

NUMBER TWO: The Valerie Plume issue could have been avoided if the Deputy-Secretary-of-State-confirmed-by-the-Republican-dominated-Unites-States-Senate would have COME FORWARD IN THE FIRST PLACE! The President should mention that in his speech.

NUMBER THREE: Gas prices – It’s not Bush’s fault that the gas prices rise but we should credit him when they fall. I’m confused; which is it?

NUMBER FOUR: A historic low unemployment rate of 4.8%? Uh, according to the US Department of Labor Statistics, in 2000 the average unemployment was at 4.1%. So your claim of 4.8 being a historical figure, point towards the opposite side of an all time low.

NUMBER FIVE: Awwww. The killing in Bagdad has declined. Only 1,800 bodies were delivered to the morgue in July. Well isn't that just fucking comforting.

NUMBER SIX: “The hurricane season was unexpectedly mild.” Does this mean that Bush didn’t fuck over Mother Nature this year? What? What does this mean? Please elaborate because I do not understand this statement.

NUMBER SEVEN: Go back and read number seven. Which one of those Americans is responsible for the ineffectual deaths of thousands of people? None. Okay. So, what’s your point?

And last, my favorite:

“Things could be a whole lot worse for President Bush and the Republicans.”

What can be worse than a pointless war resulting in unnecessary deaths?

Poetry, Such Sweet Poetry

2006-09-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

A WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a
liquor store and a golf course.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Bitter-Sweet Goodbye

2006-09-05T11:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Chocolate Cake,

Last night you caught me by surprise. You have ruined every ounce of trust that I had in you. You are right up there with Éclair in National Lampoon’s Van Wilder. You betrayed me and I will never think of you the same again.

I was enjoying you; I even paused my movie to run to you, to feel your delicious and sinful taste on my tongue. I started with your rich and thick buttercream frosting and even though I prefer your brother, whip, I treated you with the same loving and sensual touch as I do with whip. I was enjoying you all to myself, in bed and in the dark.

However, you are the devil of all evil, you are the connoisseur of all betrayal, the master of disguise. When I licked your frosting clean and bit into your cake, your taste was not the chocolate fluff that I had so desired. I continued to chew your moist and tender fluff and when I swallowed, I began to gag. I then turned on the light and to my horror; one side of your fluff was covered in mold!

I cannot tell your story without gagging. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully consume you without gagging. You and Éclair will be on my DO NOT TOUCH list for quite a while.

Au Revoir,

Bella

A Wart's Tale

2006-09-01T05:08:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I developed a wart on the inside of my left ring finger. For months it has been my friend and savior to my once non existent finger nails. It has been filed down, dug out, chewed on and burnt but never have I resulted in disrespecting my wart by using a medicine to make it disappear. Until recently.

I remember the very first wart I had. I was in the fourth grade and this small, rough, skin colored mole like thing developed on the back of my right hand. It wasn’t necessarily noticeable and all though I kept my left hand over it while riding the bus to school, it never really bothered me. I would constantly play with it and every now and then I would hear a shout from my mother, “Leave that disgusting thing alone! It needs to be burnt off for Christsakes!” No one ever did anything about it though. So as I picked at it, it grew and grew and grew. It grew to the size of an eraser from the end of a pencil.

One day, someone at school noticed. That person told another person and so on until the whole school found out that Bella had a huge wart on the back of her hand. The kids at school wanted to see it so they all gathered round me to look at it. That’s when one slimy bastard, Tommy, yelled to everyone, “She has a wart because she kisses frogs!” I had never been so humiliated in my life. From then on, I was known as Wartfrog. I was so mad; the only thing I could think of was taking a kickball to Tommy’s face. Even after my grandmother burnt the wart of with Compound W and the wart was gone, the kids at school still referred to me as Wartfrog. What a bunch of fucking bastards.

Twenty-three years later, here I am blessed with my second wart. Bello and I were lying in bed not too long ago, when he grabbed my hand and was massaging my fingers. His fingers braised my wart and he jerked back, “Ewww! Was that your wart that I just touched? That’s gross!” Instantly, Wartfrog memories surfaced and a few days later I bought Freeze-Off. Sadly, my friend the wart has almost disappeared but I have no fear that it may one day grace me with its presence yet once again.

The Mediocre Blogger

2006-08-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

When I first started this blog I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I didn’t understand the concept of commenting or even the fact that anyone would bother to read my blog. Now that I am an established blogger for two years now, I still feel that something is missing.

Could it be that my posts are inconsistent? I write a great post one day and the next one I write is something stupid like, “Today I fell on my head and I was hit with the thought that I could run this country into the ground just a good as Bush can. It dawned on me that the smartest person or the dumbest person in the world can majorly screw up ANYTHING including a country!” Ah-ha! I have never written a post with such mind dismissing content.

Wait a minute, I just wrote it. Scratch that.

When I first started my blog, I of course searched for other blogs so I could gather some idea of what it was that fellow bloggers expect from me. Imagine my amazement when I discovered that there were actual people out there blogging who had better ideas for topics than I did. No way; I am smarter than everyone else and I write with a characteristic mind that no one else can duplicate. Then much to my dismay, I discovered that my writing didn’t just mirror the mere average, but that I had to actually go looking for other bloggers to convince them that I am a good blogger. Imagine that! I, having to convince people that I am a good blogger. The nerve of these people; overlooking my opinionated and immature thoughts. Who are they to just give me a glance; a short once-over and then click NEXT! Do they think they are better than me???

And just think, my very first post was just as arrogant as those thoughts you just read. If you look on the left sidebar, you will see a link to “Don’t You Just Hate That?”. Yes folks, that was my very first post which contained the whining, bitching and moaning thoughts of a mediocre blogger.

No wonder no one bothered to stop and read my blog. Who wants to read someone’s complaint about something she probably does herself!

Shit. I wouldn’t want to read me either.

My goal now is to bring to you thought provoking posts that will leave you saying, “Wow, that post was so great that it left me speechless. We give Bella a standing ovation!!”

I have no idea how to do that.

WM3

2006-08-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

Hopefully you all have noticed that I have a few links in relation to three gentleman referred to as The West Memphis Three. For those of you who do not know the story of this tragedy, I suggest you read it here.

In short, three men were wrongfully accused and convicted of three gruesome murders and one of them remains on death row. Imagine, your son, brother or grandson being accused of a murder he did not commit and then convicted for it simply because he was different.

I urge you to please read the stories, visit the site and help; even if it’s just a little note to one of these men in prison, offering your moral support.

On the West Memphis Three site, I have read the transcripts which contain over 2,000 pages of testimonies and appeals. I have never read anything like it in my life. I thought I had problems. Mine are minimal compared to these three innocent people who are sitting in prison begging to be heard.

Convicted purely by 1) the influence of the media, 2) one man who claimed sacrificial killings were being done all over America, 3) a tainted jury who presumed these men guilty before innocent, 4) undocumented evidence and 5) a confession coerced by the police, after 12 hours of interrogation, from a 17 year old boy with the IQ of 72.

Even the state’s prosecutor, who thought there was no case against the men at all, was shocked when the jury found them guilty.

“There was a remarkable lack of physical evidence against anybody."~ Deputy District Attorney John Fogleman (Prosecutor)

Ironically, the same judge that ran the first trial is the same judge who refuses the appeals from these three men claiming that there is no evidence of their innocence. Not to mention, this corrupt judge refused to allow key evidence that proved their innocence during the original trial, but allowed pictures from the prosecutors side, depicting nothing but speculations of what the pictures may contain.

I suggest you read the story; you WILL be shocked.

And if you happen to know a person who was on the West Memphis Jury, you might want to ask your friend, “How the hell do you sleep at night knowing you put three innocent men in prison, one on death row? How stupid do you have to be to convict a person based on no evidence at all?”

Awwwww! Do I Hafta???

2006-08-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

Guess what? I went back to school today!!!! It's been three months since I have had school and to be honest, I don't know if I like having to be studying again. I'd rather sit my lazy ass ont he couch and watch TV, dammit!

I am doing good and things are getting easier everyday. On Saturday, we had a birthday BBQ for Belle. She just turned 13!!!!! What a kid she has grown up to be.

My father and my step mom's mother, sister as well as my step-brother came up for Belle's party. I was pleasantly pleased to see them here.

Bello, Belle and I have some big changes coming up but I won't divulge now. Actually, we are all pretty excited and I can't wait to tell you but I fear that others may read this blog that don't quite know what is going on yet. I know, that makes no sense to you whatsoever, huh? Well too bad; you'll just have to wait. ;)

I'm off to visit you all. Thank you for all your kind comments!

Love Knows No Boundaries

2006-08-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

Things have been chaotic since we got back from our Southern California trip. Trying to wind down from the trip, a death in the family and Belle’s birthday has kept us going the past couple of weeks. Thank you to all who expressed kind words of comfort to me. I so deeply appreciate all of my blogger friends.

I wrote before that I thought it might be inappropriate to post about the recent death in our family however, I feel that this person deserves to be recognized.

Over twenty years ago, my father, Mickey, married a wonderful, beautiful, caring and loving woman. Her name was Minnie. Now, you know that wasn’t her real name; I have changed names of family to conceal their identity. Minnie was my step-mother and she was a great mom, wife and grandmother.

A couple of years, Minnie went through a liver transplant. Complications from other ailments prevented her from taking a certain drug warding off the liver disease. Eventually, she would have to have another transplant. A couple of weeks ago, Minnie was granted that second liver transplant. Unfortunately, she was too weak to survive.

I cannot imagine the pain that my father is going through right now and I certainly cannot imagine my step-brother’s pain. What I do see on the outside is that everyone is coping okay and as time passes, it will become easier to deal with daily life events.

For now, I miss Minnie so much. I am so grateful and honored to have been apart of her life. She taught me well and I feel as if I ~~was~~ am her daughter. Not everyone has a strong bond with their step-parent but I am glad that she and I had a bond. Her common-sense rained on me and because of her and my father, I learned who I am and who I wanted to become. They guided me and although they expressed disappointment when they didn’t agree with my choices, they made sure that I felt loved and appreciated no matter what. To me, that’s what a parent does; no matter how disappointed you may be with your offspring, you show them unconditional love and give them advice and direction but let them choose for themselves. That’s exactly what my father and Minnie did for my brother and I. I couldn’t ask for more.

Blood or not, I like to think of Minnie as my other mom.

I love you, mom. May your soul be free of pain and forever remain in peace.

July 1, 1950-August 10, 2006

Stop the Pain

2006-08-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

I am currently taking another hiatus from the blog to focus on other matters.

My vacation was great and I will post the pictures soon but I may be gone for a couple of weeks. I might post one or two but please don't hold me to it.

Someone very close to me has passed away and I need time to grieve.

I feel that it may be inappropriate to post who, when and where so I will leave it at that.

I will return because like they say, "Life must go on....."

Just give me some time, okay friends? I appreciate it. :)

Hellooooo LA!

2006-08-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

This won't be much of a post today. I have a lot to get done before we leave tomorrow. At 12 o'clock tomorrow, we will be on the road to our first destination, my aunt's house. Then on Monday, it's on to Hollywood for Universal Studios and then Tuesday night, on to Anaheim for DISNEYLAND!!!!!

Then Sunday it will be bye bye vacation - it's been real - had a good time - back to reality.

If anyone remembers, I had my countdown started at 153 days. I have had butterflies and anxious spells since then. Now, I just want to get this freaking day over with; it's only 10:15 AM and it feels like I have been here at work for 5 TORTUROUS HOURS!

Wouldn't it be nice if your vacation days went by as slow as your work days? Work days aren't always slow but it's defintely slow the day before you leave for vacation.

I told you this post would be about nothing. I won't bore you any longer.

Have a great week.

You just might get an audioblog from me when I am on one of the rides. If you're lucky. ;)

DWM - Driving While Mel

2006-08-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

I came across a site that wrote about Mel Gibson's behavior while being arrest for driving under the influence.

People can call in and comment on related articles. READ DIRECTIONS FIRST BEFORE CLICKING ON THE LINK.

1. Scroll down until you see the black box with "Rant n' Rave".
2. Turn on your speakers
3. Click on "Gibson Comment 7".
4. Listen to it - Carefully.

Hurry up, go. I'll wait.

Okay. I am dumbfounded.

Now, I get the whole "celebrity treatment" comment but what was said after that, completely disoriented my brain beyond comprehension.

"What I went through, what I was forced to go through."
"What a lot of people go through with the DMV."
"DMV has too much power."
"It's very unfair with the DMV"

She drank alcohol; got in her car and drove; risked the lives of innocent people; got caught and then has the nerve to complain that the DMV was too harsh on her.

Let's all forget that she could have killed someone and potentially saved from a vehicular manslaughter charge. Noooooooo, let's just focus on the fact that the DMV PUNISHMENT was to harsh.

I bet this lady still drinks and drives because it's quite obvious the only concern she has is how Mel Gibson will be treated for his DUI and the harshness of the DMVs consequences for her DUI. It wasn't a lesson for her; there was no concern about the lives that she put at risk.

When you drink and drive, you have NO RIGHT to complain about the consequences. You get what you deserve and quite honestly, whatever you get isn't enough.

I Amuse Myself

2006-08-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

I was going through my archive and I found this one that I had blogged about in January of 2005. Some of you may remember it and those of you who haven't read my blog for that long will get a good laugh out of it.

The Green Jeep Incident - January 2005

I wasn't going to post this on my site because I was so embarrassed and not to mention, my fiancée reads my blog. However, the more I think about it, I can actually laugh at it because it is rather amusing.

A couple of weekends ago, Bello, Belle and I went out shopping. When we returned to our Green Jeep, I returned the shopping cart to the designated area, like the good person I am, (don't you just hate it when you see all the shopping carts in the parking stalls and there's no where to park so you have to get out of your car and move it cuz the previous cart user was too lazy to do it themselves) oh..did I get off the subject with random babbling? Sorry.

Anyway, I returned the cart and returned to the Green Jeep. I proceeded to open the passenger door and it was locked. So, I waited and Bello didn't unlock the door. So, I knocked on the window; still the doors didn't unlock.

Now, I started getting irritated so I knocked really hard and yelled, "Unlock the damn door!" and pressed my face and hands against the window and to my horror, there was an old man staring at me, absolutely horrified. I gasped, took a step back and realized that the Green Jeep was in fact not ours. I calmly apologized and said, "Wrong Green Jeep." and walked away to the right Green Jeep parked three stalls away.

I got into our Green Jeep quietly without relaying the embarrassing incident and we drove happily home. I can't begin to imagine what that poor old man must have been thinking.

Would someone please tell me why I embarrass myself so?????

Aside from that, I have a major complaint. Yes, Layla, I am complaining; deal with it, woman. Have you ever noticed that there is an obscene amount of Forrest Green Jeeps? I for sure have cuz when ya own one; you tend to compare yours to the others. Anyway, it is absolutely absurd that the Jeep manufacturers have to make so many damn Green Jeeps. WHY???? Why must you confuse me with all your freakin Green Jeeps? WHY? Jeep makers should limit the amount of Green Jeeps and any other color for that matter to five of each color in every state. This way, blondes like me don't get so easily confused! They could come up with 100 different colors! Look inside a box of Crayola Crayons for cryin out loud!

They have over 120 colors!

Get creative Jeep people!!!! Stop making my life embarrassing with all your ridiculous Green Jeeps!

I need a nap.

Size Does Matter

2006-07-31T15:38:00.000-07:00

Bello and I went clothes shopping on Sunday. We spent quite a bit of money but there were some great bargains. I love Old Navy, I don’t know why, I just do. Bello and Belle prefer the expensive stores like Nordstrom or Pimpercrombie and Bitch. I’m a bargain girl with a very unfashionable wardrobe. I used to care about my wardrobe when I was fifty pounds lighter however, now I go for comfort as opposed to looks. Bello always has to shop with me to make sure that I am not buying "granny clothes".

While we were shopping, I saw that Bello had quite a bit of clothes in his hand.

“Shouldn’t you try those on, Bello?”

“No. I know my size.”

I know my size as well, especially with the clothes at Old Navy. Bello on the other hand thinks he is smaller than he actually is. It hasn’t quite registered that his waist size is two sizes bigger than it was five years ago. He realizes that he has gained weight but the fact that his clothing size is two sizes bigger, hasn’t quite registered yet. I thought he knew his size too and was buying clothes accordingly.

I never thought about it when I got home. I washed them. He tried them on. They didn’t fit. Oooops.

The shirts and a pair of shorts and pants fit fine but there were a few pairs of shorts and pants that he bought that didn’t fit.

“I told you to try them on.”

“I thought they would fit.”

“Well, what size are they?”

“34”

“You’re a 36, Bello.”

“I couldn’t remember if I was a 34 or a 36 so I bought both.”

“That's why you should try them on! I washed them and now we can’t take them back.”

“What??? How would they know if it was washed?”

“You can try and return them. I guess you have to shop with me to make sure that my clothes are in style and I have to shop with you to make sure you buy clothes that fit.”

Stores these days will take anything back because they let him exchange the clothes that didn’t fit, with or without tags AND WASHED.

I’ll be shopping there more often.

Making An Effort

2006-07-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am working on something that I hope all my blog friends will enjoy reading. My mother recently sold my childhood home and it was very difficult to let go but we all have to move on at some point.

So, what I am in the midst of doing is writing about some of my most fondest memories, good ones that make me laugh and ones that I cherish and think about often. I had a lot of friends on my block and let's just say that you will enjoy reading some of these cute and funny stories.

So bear with me and hopefully I will have something posted soon (before Disneyland) equipped with old pictures and coming of age stories.

Would God Approve?

2006-07-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

The most ironic part of my 4th enjoyment (or nonenjoyment) was watching and listening to a Christian rock band sing songs like 'Free Ride'. The 'Free Ride' lyrics may sound innocent but it's the message behind the lyrics that those who didn't experience the 70's drug phase don't understand. Let's put it this way, the term "Promiseland" in these lyrics is not in reference to Heaven. It's in reference to being high or hallucinating.

Then, much to my dismay, they started singing 'Jesus is Just Alright' made famous by a band who named themselves a slang term for marijuana, thus creating the Doobie Brothers. I wondered if these people in those bands realized what kind of music they were singing. I probably would have been a little more forgiving had they sounded any good but they butchered these songs and I was horrified to hear some of my favorite songs from some of my favorite bands being sung by people with no talent. We call these people, No-Talent-Ass-Clowns.

On top of horrible music, the fireworks show stunk. We could see the neighboring city's fireworks show which started fifteen minutes before ours and was still going twenty minutes after ours was over. Our fireworks show was no more then fifteen minutes, if that. We parked almost a mile away to hear shitty music and watch a lame fireworks show. What a disappointment.

Before all that excitement (NOT!) we were over at my friend's house where we had dinner and watched the Giants lose to the Rockies. Her neighbor had some fireworks so we watched those for a while. They just don't make them like they use to. They are all relatively the same; the same color, the same loud "piccolo pete" whistle, some crackling but nothing spectacular.

Fireworks use to be crazy! I remember the sparklers; writing your name as a tracer and they lasted forever, sometimes so long that I passed them on to someone else. The sparklers they make today last no more than 15 seconds. I use to love the bottle rockets, those were cool. The flowers were cool too, the way they would spin, change colors and had that "whizz" sound. I also use to like the black snakes. Those were the little black pellets that you put on the ground and watch it expand into black rolls. They were weird but fun to look at. And of course, you can't forget the Jumping Jacks. Fireworks would not be complete without those little firecrackers that made one hell of a noise when set off.

Those were the days when we had fun with fireworks but thanks to irresponsible people who created fires by lighting fireworks near dry grass, they ruined it for the rest of us who were responsible fireworks users. There always has to be those jerks who ruin it for everyone else.

I hope you had a better fourth than I did. I did learn one lesson this year - Go to the next city and watch their fireworks show.

Let's Torture Belle

2006-07-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

As our Disneyland vacation trip countdown descends, we find ourselves talking more and more about what we are going to do, what rides we will go on first, what shows we want to see, etc. We are all so excited, that we have to fill up our weekends just pass the time. Of course, when the time comes for our trip, it will fly by in an instant. Doesn’t it always?

The last time I went to Disneyland, Bello and I took Belle for the 45th anniversary. She remembers well all the rides that she went on, especially one in particular. We boarded the Space Mountain Roller Coaster and for those of you who haven’t been to Disneyland, Space Mountain is a coaster in the dark. When Belle and I got on the ride, neither the crew, nor I were thinking about the thigh size difference with the lap bar. As we were riding, Belle started to slip down under the lap bar and I spent the whole 30 second ride holding her up so that she wouldn’t slip down into the coaster train. By the time we stopped, Belle was in a panic and I was just happy that it was over. When I looked down, she had slid down so far that the bar was almost up to her neck. She was hanging on for dear life and I was holding on to her from under her arms. I was never scared that she would fall out of the train, but I was scared that the lap bar would choke her or break her neck. Needless to say, we didn’t ride Space Mountain anytime again while there.

However, that doesn’t mean that we won’t ride it this time. Belle says that she is afraid that it will happen again but I assured her that it wouldn’t because she is much bigger now. In addition, Space Mountain has been remodeled and now they have the over-the-head bar and I feel much safer and secure with that kind of security bar.

There is one other ride that we have to convince her to go on. That’s the Tower of Terror.

About 12 years ago, my grandparents paid for our family to go to Walt Disney World. The Tower of Terror, located at the Walt Disney Studios, was one of the new rides there. We had two little ones with us, Belle being one of them. My Uncle convinced her to go on the ride by telling her that Scooby-Doo was inside. She was all excited and couldn’t wait to go on. The ride takes you up and an elevator opens and closes with different ghostly scenes. The whole time, Belle is asking my Uncle where Scooby was. Finally, as the ride ends with a four story drop in the elevator and springs up and down for four stories back down to one. During the drop, Belle was screaming bloody murder. They take a picture of you while on the drop; Belle’s eyes were closed, mouth wide open and hair standing straight up. I still wish to this day that I had bought the picture but I was so angry that he took her on the ride that I didn’t want a picture to remind me of it. Now, we laugh about it and so does Belle. But still, she says she won’t go on the ride. I don’t blame her but I will convince her somehow.

You Want Him? Come F***KING Get Him, Osama!

2006-06-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

I was reading the news (which BTW, I give up on) this morning about Bin Laden’s tape requesting the return of Zarqawi’s body. First let me address that request:

Osama, are you willing to give yourself up to us? Didn’t think so. As long as you’re not willing to trade yourself for Zarqawi’s body, the only piece of him you’ll get are his testicles in a jar for a keepsake.

Now, onto the reason why this whole country irritates me; this is nothing but a bunch of BS. Here we are, years later, still receiving video tapes from Bin Laden, the US claiming that he resides somewhere in the terrains of Afghanistan and Pakistan, and where are we?

In Iraq.

Is there a good reason as to why we are not on the hunt for the man who ran planes into our WTC and Pentagon?

Whose fault is it going to be if and when this immoral pig decides to attack us again?

Are we going to blame ourselves because we didn't try harder to catch this guy and his village of murdering men?

Are we going to have to wait for another tragedy on US soil before we actually catch this guy?

I'd like to know because so far with what has been done in the past five years, I am not impressed and I DO NOT feel safe.

I guess Hussein is the best our country can do. And what a sorry country it is when you can't capture the one man who wreaked havoc on our land and instead let him get away with it.

The whole problem is based on the same scenario that a person is angry and takes it out on a person who had nothing to do with the situation. Granted Hussein needed a swift kick in the ass, you don’t ignore the person who has murdered thousands of your brothers and sisters. You just don’t do that.

In Law Enforcement, the first 48 hours are crucial when solving a case involving murder. If you don’t have clues or a suspect in custody, the chances of solving that case minimizes by the day. Until that person kills again, you are not likely to find him/her even if you know who the suspect is.

So, are we going to have to wait until Bin Laden kills more of our people before we actually go after him? Or are we going to do the right thing and go after him now, capture him and make him serve as an example to his followers by giving him an immediate death sentence?

Judging from the past four years, it looks as though our government really doesn’t give a shit. Where does that leave us?

Little Blonde Bomber

2006-06-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

It amazes me that I have come so far in life as to earn a good living, raise a decent child, have a wonderful boyfriend and family, and be able to remain sane. Based on past incidents, had I been given the chance to see some of the crap that I did, I would have never guessed that I would be where I am at today. Those of you who read the story about my life with Belle’s biological father know what I am writing about. However, this post isn’t about depressing episodes that ruled a small portion of my life. No. This is about some of the stupid things that ultimately lead me to my now gracious existence in this world. Some of these incidents are merely child stupidity episodes and some are just plain blonde moments in life.

My mother had pulled out skirt steak for dinner one night and then decided that we would go out to dinner. She asked me to ‘put the steak back into the crisper drawer’. I didn’t understand what a crisper was and didn’t bother to ask. A few days later a horrible smell emanated from the drawer that contained plastic lids. When she opened up the drawer, there was the skirt steak at its worst. I, being 13 years old, put the steak not in the refrigerator drawer (where every normal child would have thought to put it) but put it in the cabinet drawer so that it could rot and turn into black flesh with a powerful odor strong enough to make you run out of the house holding a rag over your face. Yep, you can say I ruined that steak.

I was about ten years old and I got in trouble when my friend was caught stealing. I just happened to be with her so I was an accomplice. My step-father had to pick us up and when we got home, I was spanked with a belt. Damn that hurt. To get even for the belt, whenever I went to the bathroom, I would stir the toilet bowl with his toothbrush. I eventually got caught when I decided to take it a step further and put his toothbrush into feces. Instead of washing it off, I put it back in the holder. Now I don’t know, even to this day, if he ever used it but he did notice it and I got in big trouble for that one. I was just thanking my lucky stars that he didn’t spank me with the belt again. I think he figured out why I was tormenting him.

A few months later, I apparently wasn’t over the belt incident, so I destroyed my parent’s one and only transportation vehicle. My step-father had taken me to one of his softball games. It was cold out so I went to sit in the car. We all know that you don’t allow a young child to sit alone in the car because they play with things they shouldn’t be playing with. I discovered the lighter. I also discovered the napkins in the glove box. I put two and two together and made fire. BIG FIRE. In the glove box. The fire department came but it was too late. Upon their arrival the car blew up. Bye bye, Volkswagon.

I was a brat. I started younger than that too. My grandmother use to tell me stories of how I would somehow climb into my grandfather’s truck (I was only three) and release the e-brake. I thought it was the funniest thing when I saw grandpa running down the driveway in a panic. After that, my grandfather began locking his doors.

I feel bad for my mom. She had some really bad kids that did some awful things but in the end, we turned out alright.

War Dreams

2006-06-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

I had a really bizarre dream last night that spooked me and I couldn’t get back to sleep for an hour.

My dream seemed very real and very scary and it made me think of those innocent people who are dealing with this kind of problem right now. War.

In my dream, my family and friends and I were at a gas station buying sodas and water. We walked out to our car and a bunch of foreign men with guns forced us into the gas station garage and began shooting the men and letting the women go. I was holding onto Belle, still in shock at what was happening. Bello was behind me and told me to put my hands up to let them know that I was not armed. Bello said he would stay right behind me and we would walk out. However, I knew that they would shoot him but let Belle and I go, so I told him he had stay there and hide. The confused look on his face will stay with me for a while. He didn’t understand that they were only allowing the women to survive. I turned around to say goodbye to him and he was gone. I felt relieved but scared that I would never see him again.

I took Belle’s hand, walked out with my hands up and the war hounds shooed me out. I remember being in my old hometown area, walking up the hills, trying to figure out my way to mother’s house without being killed. I have never felt so much fear for my daughter’s life in all her years. I ran up hills, dragging her, dodging in and out of cars from potential war criminals on the street. Then, I finally made it to my mother’s house.

Once inside, I looked out the window to see a white van stop in front of the house and two men were trying to see if anyone was inside my mother’s house. I ducked behind the couch so they wouldn’t see me. When they drove off, I went around the house and locked all the doors. I then hid Belle in a safe place and went to call Bello on his phone to see if he was okay. Then something dawned on me. What if I call and he’s hiding and the war criminals hear his phone ring? I thought it would be best to wait until I hear from him or someone that was with him. As I was thinking about this, I realized that I had forgotten to lock one door; the door in the kitchen. I ran to lock it and as I reached the door, it was kicked open, hit me in the face and I woke up.

I was awake, but I was in shock. I got up and went to Belle’s room to give her a kiss and then I crawled back into to bed and stared at Bello for an hour. I was glad that he was where he was suppose to be; right next to me all along.

I never want to dream something like that again and I don’t know why I would dream something like that to begin with. I support our troops, don’t agree with war, and I feel for those innocent people being killed but why would I dream something like this?

There has to be some kind of meaning behind it. What do you think it means?

Twisted Humor

2006-06-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

Bello, Belle and I went to his parent’s house for the weekend to celebrate his mom’s birthday. On Sunday, we all went out to lunch and of course, leave it to Bello to start up “The Politically Incorrect” conversation. FYI – Bello and I are quite known to be a little crass with a twisted sense of humor.

Ten years ago, a lad decided to take his own life by jumping off one of the overpasses and into the freeway below and landed on a car. Now, I have never fully understood the thought process of committing suicide but I do admit that I tried it once when I was thirteen and dumb and my first boyfriend broke up with me. I was so hurt that I took 4 ibuprofens and thought I was going to die instantly. It turns out it just gave me a really bad stomach ache. Since then, I have never thought about it nor tried it again. So I imagine that this guy who jumped off the bridge must have had some serious issues.

Now comes “The Politically Incorrect” part. Bello said that he was discussing this particular incident with his friend Freddie and they came up with some ideas. If you are going to be a jerk about your suicide and ruin someone else’s possessions while you jump off a bridge, then you should do it in style and go out with a BANG!

Imagine this – you’re driving on the freeway and SMACK! An astronaut lands on your windshield. I know what you’re thinking, “That’s impossible considering the astronaut would disintegrate during reentry!” But you would have to suspend that belief just for the cause. Give the guy a break; at least he added a little humor to it. After all, it could have been worse. The guy could have been wearing a Superman suit.

Fire Engine

2006-06-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a dog and a cat.

The fire-fighter walks over to take a closer look, 'that's a lovely fire engine,' he says admiringly.

'Thanks,' says the little girl.

The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the cart's strings to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.

'Little colleague,' says the fire-fighter, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.'

The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then up at the fireman and says 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a f**king siren, would I?'

The Green Stone

2006-06-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

Bello's mom bought me some earrings made of the green stone called moldavite for a birthday gift.

The history behind this mysterious stone is that it comes from a meteorite that crashed into the Moldau Valley of Czechoslovakia 20 million years ago. Some disagree that it is an actual meteorite but some kind of rock that was struck by a meteorite and melted. Others think there is a combination of extraterrestrial and terrestrial properties formed in outer space that created the meteor. I don't know much behind the rock but I can say that it is a truly beautiful and one of a kind rock. Excuse me, meteorite.

Some beleive that it is a very powerful gem and that it can be used with meditation but to counteract the supposed "gravitational pull", one must place by their feet black tourmaline, hematite, tiger's eye, smoky quartz, red jasper, or obsidian. As much as a spiritual person I am, I don't know if I actually beleive this. Maybe I should give it a try and see if there is really a gravity existence to it. I'll be sure to let you know what I find out.

On the other hand, I do feel a power that emanates from it and I feel happy or should I say a better sense of lightness within myself when I am wearing the gems. I feel that my mind is much more clear and that my stress level is reduced. Nonetheless, I do love my green gems and they bring me great pleasure when wearing them.

My first pair of Moldavite earrings disappeared. Bello and I went to Nabbalicious' wedding in Chicago a few years ago and while packing for the trip home, I had put them in Belle's carry on bag, in a specific place so that I would remember them. When we got home and I tried to retrieve them, they were gone. I turned that bag inside and out. There was one pocket, not deep, and I turned it inside out to find nothing. I was so broken hearted. Then, exactly one year later, we were on our way to Bello's mom's house, Belle was putting something inside the side pocket of her bag, opened it up and right there were my Moldavite earrings. Belle was shocked, I was shocked and Bello was shocked. I called Bello's mom right away and she couldn't beleive it. It also turns out that for my birthday, she had bought me a replacement of the earrings. She had to exchange them and instead, I got a Moldavite necklace that I cherish. A couple of years later, again, Bello's mom bought me another pair of the green earrings.

I absolutely love my green gems and that necklace stays around my neck everyday.

Suck My Apple!

2006-06-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

I am so fed up with Apple. Everyone says, “OH! Apple has the greatest technology. Their computers don't get viruses and they have those wonderful iPods!”

WELL, I THINK APPLE FREAKIN SUCKS!

Bello bought an iPod Christmas 2004 and we had it seven months before the thing broke. It kept freezing up, cutting off songs and then wouldn't turn on for a while. We also bought Belle one last Christmas. It hasn't been six months and her screen turned all black. Not to mention, Belle's purchase date is registered as December 25th and Apple's policy is free shipping before your six month date is up. So when I went to the site to fill out all the info for damage return, the site said that my six months had expired and that I will have to pay for the shipping costs.

SCREW YOU, APPLE. YOU’RE THE ONES WHO MADE CRAPPY IPODS.

Bello and I ~~are~~ were thinking about buying one of those MAC computers. Yeah right. I no longer trust Apple.

You CANNOT convince me that Apple comes out with risk-free-virus computers and actually thinks that their computers will never be attacked by viruses. Are you kidding me? The virus people are too busy making them for PC users but wait until most of the world is populated by MACS. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE VIRUS MAKERS WILL TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO, APPLE????? CAN YOU ANSWER THAT ONE, GENIUS?

Sheeeesh. You Apple people frustrate me. You advertise cool products but there's nothing cool about having to constantly fix your electronics because they weren't made right the first time. You suck, Apple. You really really really suck.

Care For Some Insurance Fraud?

2006-06-19T10:17:00.000-07:00

Bello and I took Belle to the Bay Area (San Francisco Area) for the weekend. We stayed with Layla and took my father out for Father’s Day.

On our way to the restaurant, Bello and I got into a little fender bender. We were approaching a stop light when the person in front of us slammed on their brakes, causing Bello to slam on his, creating a chain reaction to those behind us. Unfortunately, we were rear ended by the guy behind us. So, we pull over.

When the guy got out, he had a hard time speaking English so it was difficult to communicate. We wrote down all his information but when we asked him for his driver’s license, he panicked a little. He tried explaining to us that he didn’t have it with him and that it was at home. Bello and I told him it was okay but we had to get the police out here to make sure that he was driving legally.

In the mean time, the guy calls his friend out and says that he speaks better English and can translate. We didn’t think anything of it and agreed that it was a good idea. WRONG.
When his friend arrived, he proceeded to involve us in a fraudulent case. He wanted us to take his info and tell the police that he was driving when we were rear ended. I told him that what he was suggesting is insurance fraud and I would have nothing to do with it. It was all so very odd and I was uncomfortable with these men. I was glad that Bello was there.

Anyway, the guy’s friend kept insisting that he could get into his car and run into us so that we can say he did it. I was shocked. Then the guy started to offer us cash. He had no idea the value of American money because he said, “We could pay $100 or $400, something like that.” I was becoming irritated because all I wanted was for the police to come and verify this guy’s license so that we could get to the restaurant.

Finally the police came and it turned out that the guy who hit us was legit but the DMV still hadn’t sent him is license. The guy was afraid that his car would be towed and that’s why his friend wanted to take the blame for everything.

I understood but they still wanted me to not report it to the insurance company and instead they wanted to pay me cash for it. Being a Criminal Justice Major, I would rather do things the right way so I reported it to my agent this morning.

What a weird incident.

Sue you, sue me

2006-06-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

I was watching the news last night when they announced that doctors came up with a new theory as to why people are overweight. It’s all about mind control.

WELL SOMEBODY SLAP ME IN THE FACE. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?

Mind control, self control, well duh, of course it’s all about control. We all know that. But they did point out one possible fact that was pretty interesting. Thin people when full, don’t have that neuro thought to continue to eat; the overweight do. That’s the underlying difference. They may be onto something with this.

I was anorexic for many years and once I fought through that and was able to stabilize my eating habits, I do recall eating my three meals a day but not continuing with the consumption beyond the point of fullness. Today, it’s a whole different story. It’s those high in fat foods that get me now, when I was able to turn a blind eye so easily ten years ago. Sure, I ate the fatty foods then but I didn’t consume the high amount that I do today. Back then, my brain let me know that I was full and although I enjoyed those fatty foods, it didn’t continue to stimulate that part of my brain after having enough to eat.

The doctors tested thin people and overweight people. They both were fed adequate portions according to weight and size of their person. On day one, the first meal consisted of a well rounded diet meal including meats, vegetables, breads and fruits. On day two the meal consisted of high fatty foods like potato chips, cupcakes, fast food, etc. Once the meals were finished, their brains were analyzed. Doctors showed pictures of fatty foods to both the thin and overweight people on both days; the same exact pictures. Results revealed that although overweight people are full, that signal in the brain still lights up upon eyeing fatty foods. The thin people’s little light bulb showed no light. Do you see where I am getting at here, peeps?

The ironic part to all this, after that segment was shown, the next segment was about KFC being sued for using high fatty oils to fry their chicken in. That is so “Typical America”. We know that our overweight is due to bad eating habits and lack of self control so we blame and sue the fast food industry for our problems.

Well, my sister gains weight off of fruit because her body doesn’t properly digest the natural sugars. I told her to go sue the agriculture industry. She said, “Why, when all I have to do is NOT EAT IT?!”

The Shitty Post

2006-06-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

Bello told me a story about a shart incident.

Allow me to explain what a shart is. I know, I’m with you, I had never heard of the term before it came out of Bello’s mouth. I assure you the previous sentence will become funny once I explain to you exactly what a shart is.

The equation goes like this:

shit + fart = shart Translation: Tried to fart but shit in pants.

Is that straight to the point or what?

So, shart came out of Bello’s mouth thus, entering my ears for the very first time. Bello’s mouth didn’t really shart; he said it for the first time. Okay, ‘nuff explainin.

Bello and friend went to the bar, ordered drinks and talking amongst people when said friend whispered in Bello’s ear, “Dude, we gotta go.” To which Bello replies, “Dude, I just got my beer.” To which said friend responds with, “No dude, you don’t understand. I just sharted.”

That ride home must have been really uncomfortable.

Suck is a Cool Word

2006-06-07T16:50:00.000-07:00

This totally sucks ass.

I can easily apply this term to just about everything that is going on in this world. However, I promised myself that I wouldn’t voice anymore opinions about the subject because, gawddammit, the crap just pisses me off.

What I can voice though, is that I love the word suck. I also like the words shit, gawdam, hell and fuck, but nothing compares to the word suck.

Suck is so universal. It can be used anywhere at anytime and most people will not be offended. Albeit, there are those who occasionally become offended, and I mean really offended, depending on how the word is used. For example, if you say, “Suck my dick!” in public, chances are you will offend someone. But, if you say, “It sure would be nice to have a nice big Popsicle to suck on.” you’re chances are slim that anyone will be offended. It may be a little subliminal but nonetheless tolerable. Still, there are those people who just can’t stop associating the word SUCK with something inappropriate.

What about a universally used phrase? SUCK ON THIS.

The interpretations are endless. Someone could be referring to a child with a pacifier or bottle. It could be that a person has a sore throat and has been given a lozenge. What about using it when ciphering gas? Huh? That’s a good one, ain’t it? The problem with this phrase is that a majority of the people would not relate that phrase to anyone of these examples. I know you’re not; that’s for damn sure.

I like SUCK. SUCK is my friend. I like using its cousins – sucking, sucks, sucker, sucky and sucked. And if you start to say it over and over again, it starts to sound funny too.

Yep, I like suck and apparently suck likes me too.

I Smell Trouble

2006-06-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Boy did my birthday ever go wrong. Afterwards that is. A conversation about my blog was brought up and something about my grandmother and the evil post I put on my blog a few months ago, had my grandmother in a furry to the point that she started making things up about other people to derail the fact that she is still full of shit most of the time.

I quit. No more writting about my family. I can't deal with this crap.

So, my weekend went smoothly. My mom is moving up so Bello and I went down to help her pack. She has not moved since 1979 so she was in a "I don't know what I am doing mode". I was there to help and the part of being overwhelmed seems to have subsided for the time being.

I met with DC on Friday night for some appetizers and drinks. Thanks, DC, for the spectacular time. I enjoyed our wonderful conversations and especially your company.

Aside from that, things are going great. Oh yeah, I was very sick all last week. Otherwise I would have posted. :)

Yeah right, Bella.

Special Thanks!

2006-05-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone for your valuable advice. There is help in some of these comments if you look deep into them. Dr. John and Betty made me think about what I was doing on my part. Bud made me think about Disneyland and of course my father gave me some really good advice and it worked like a champ.

I asked Belle to clean a section of her room. My father says that sometimes a dirty room to clean can be overwhelming to a child or anyone who tends to have unkempt rooms for that matter. When I asked her to clean one section, it took the pressure off of her and she ended up cleaning more than half of her room. In return, I rewarded her with an hour of free time to do what she wanted. This worked so well.

Then, her father and I explained to her that if she doesn't go to Disneyland, we all don't go. We can't cast her out as if she were not a family member. Telling her that she can't go is like taking away her feeling of togetherness and that is the last thing I want her to feel. So, we put the ball in her court so that she has a little more responsibility and so far, in the past few days, we have seen quite an improvement in attitude and willingness to help around the house.

So, thank you to everyone (you too, Blue) for your thoughts on this situation. I appreciate it.

On another note. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ON SUNDAY!! It's a very merry birthday to me!

Have a great holiday weekend and remember to honor those who gave you your freedom! I will be thinking ESPECIALLY of our troops this weekend.

Slap Me

2006-05-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

I need a gun and I need it now. I'd like to just shoot myself and get it over with please. Oh wait, I take that back, not now, when I get back from Disneyland.

I need help and I am asking Dr. John and Betty for their help on this one. You raised children. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO IT????????

Problem:

Belle (the daughter) is 12. All we ask of her is good grades, clean room and keep her own bathroom tidy. That's all. Not much - an occasional kitchen duty, i.e. mop floor, dishes, etc. So, WHY CAN'T SHE DO THIS???????

She has been grounded for almost three weeks now and constantly asks, "When am I going to be able to go out and not be grounded anymore?"

My answer, "When you learn to do what you are asked to do."

The kid doesn't turn in homework. She does it but doesn't turn it in. What the????

When asked to clean her room, she sits in there and pouts. Same with her bathroom.

Bigger Problem:

I told her she wasn't going to Disneyland. She told grandma who called me up and said, "If she doesn't go to Disneyland, then you don't go either. If she is being punished, then so are you as a parent."

My childish retort, "Why should I have to give up my vacation because my child can't do the simple things I ask of her????"

Am I wrong in doing this? My daughter received bad grades last year and my grandparents took her to Hawaii. I didn't want her to go but I felt powerless over my grandfather. However, I do have an advantage now because he passed on last October. I want this child to learn a lesson and to let her know that if she doesn't do what she is asked, then there are consequences to pay. Is this too harsh? Not going to Disneyland? Am I asking to much of her?

I gave her an incentive. I told her that if her report card has all passing grades and if she does what her father and I ask her to do, then she will go to Disneyland. However, if she refuses to cooperate, then we will go without her. Does this sound reasonable?

This sucks!