You Wanna Banter With Me? You Won't Win.

Okay, I just can't wait for these things to happen!!! Since this blogging has gone on, I live for stupid, embarrassing and annoying incidents to happen just so I have something to put on my blog and show my blog friends what IDIOTS we live with!!! ^_^

On Saturday night, Bello, Fat Mike and I went to go see In Good Company with Dennis Quaid and Tohper Grace. Great movie! Loved it. Anyway, we arrived early and thankfully we did because aside from the Green Jeep Incident, there is now the Diet Coke Incident. Now wait a minute! I know what you're thinking AND SHAME ON YOU FOR ASSUMING THAT I SOMEHOW ONCE AGAIN MANAGED TO EMBARRASS MYSELF! In fact, this is not the case at all. Au contraire. I can't spell French for Pete's sake! You know what I mean!

We paid for our tickets, got our drinks, candy and popcorn. Bello and Fat Mike decided that they were gonna go outside for a smoke. So, I took a seat on the chairs near the concession stand. I see an old man (why does it always involve an old man??? Seriously though, this isn't the incident. I just had to tell you guys cuz it's funny.) who enters and wants to know about a movie playing. The ticket seller tells the man that he could read about the movie on the cork board. So he comes over and is standing near me reading the cork board when he starts trying to take off his scarf from underneath his jacket. It won't come out so he struggles with it more. He gets so frustrated that he starts mildly yelling, "God damn piece of shit thing. Fuck. Shit." I am shocked and people are turning around looking at this man is disbelief. He finally gets his scarf out but utters one last phrase, "Stupid piece of shit. Bullshit!" He scowls at me and walks away. Scary!

Bello and Fat Mike come back in and we head over to the theatre. As we are about to sit down, the lid on my medium Diet Coke pops off and I squeezed it to prevent it from falling out of my hands but the DC spilt all over the floor anyway, leaving me with half the DC. I try to put the lid back on but it's deformed. I figure I better go to the manager and see about getting another DC.

I go back up to the concession stand and explain the incident to the manager (the guy was like 17 years old). He tries about four different lids before coming to the conclusion that the lids are warped. Uhhh, yeah, ya think buddy??? This is what happened:

Me: You have no lids that will fit?

Boy: Apparently not. They all seem to be warped.

Me: So all the lids to the medium size don’t fit?

Boy: It looks that way.

Me: Okay. Well, why don’t you fill the cup back up and then pour it into a bigger cup with a lid that fits. That way, you’re not giving me a large; just a medium in a large cup.

Boy: I can’t do that because we track all the cups.

Me: Well, I’m sure your manager will understand especially if none of the lids are fitting right now on the medium cups.

Boy: Hold on a second.

He leaves and in the meantime, a girl working at the concession stand comes up to me.

Girl: Can I help you?

Me: I’m being helped right now, thank you. It appears that none of the lids on the medium cups fit right now.

Girl: Oh. (She looks like she really wants to help but doesn't know what to do.)

Me: Do you think you can just pour my drink into a bigger cup so that I can go?

Girl: I would but I don’t want to interfere with what he’s doing right now. Maybe he’s in the back trying to find some other lids that aren’t so bent.

(I am thinking to myself, you don't want to interfere. Interfere with what? The fact that none of the lids work and I really want to get to the theatre? Is this really happening????)

I wait there for ten minutes. PATIENTLY. Thank gawd my movie doesn't start for another 20 minutes. He finally returns.

Boy: I apologize for the wait; I had to deal with something else.

(Is this guy serious? He had to deal with something else? So, leave a customer with a problem for ten minutes to deal with something else? Yeah, okay.)

Boy: I don’t know what to tell you. The lids don’t fit and there’s nothing I can do so you’ll just have to accept the warped lids. It will stay on if you grab it from the bottom.

Me: Well unfortunately your cup holders are deep so it’s physically impossible to grab it from the bottom.

Boy: Well can’t you hold it?

Me: For two hours? No, I can’t hold it for two hours. Sorry.

Girl: Do you have to have a lid? Can you go without?

Me: Sure I could. However, there is one glaring detail that seems to escape your brain and that’s the fact that your cups are very flimsy and I am afraid that I might spill it on myself.

Boy: Well, I’m sorry. I have no other alternatives.

Me: So if I spill it, will you refill it?

Boy: Yes I will.

Me: Okay fine. I guess I will see you throughout the movie for refills and after the movie I will come back so that you could give me a refund on my movie ticket considering I couldn’t exactly enjoy it because I’m clumsy and I tend to spill drinks without lids therefore, I had to leave the theatre quite often so that you could refill my drink. Does that sound okay?

Boy: You know what; I’ll just pour it in a bigger cup.

Not only did he pour it in a bigger cup but he filled the rest of it up. I walked away so happy that I got a large DC and I only paid for a medium.