Aunt Edna's Pork n' Poke

Bella~

A few days before my mother died, my father called her sister, Aunt Edna, to tell her that death was imminent for Mom. While my father was talking to Aunt Edna she told him about how mother ran around as a little girl, causing problems with the family and having sex with several boys. My father was devastated.

More than a year later, my father is still upset. He and I are angry with Aunt Edna. Telling these secrets as my mother lay on her deathbed is a horrible thing to do. Aunt Edna tried to defend herself by saying “it was the truth and the truth should come out.”

I have tried to put this behind me but my father and I are still very angry. I think Aunt Edna should know how deeply hurt we are because of this. What do you think?


Honey, don’t get mad, get even. There is no need to confront Aunt Edna. If my Aunt did this to my mother, this is what I would do:

I'd call up my local newspaper and place an ad for a brothel under my Aunt’s address. After that is taken care of, I would need some necessities to make her house look like a brothel. Next, I would (damn this is too good....I kill myself sometimes) have a GINORMOUS neon sign made and have it say (in your case) Aunt Edna’s Pork n’ Poke (The Neighborhood’s Friendly Brothel) – 24/7. I'd cement it right in front of her house so she couldn't remove it. I would have signs all over town leading to her house too. Then I would replace her white porch light with a red one. As a matter of fact, I would probably string up millions of blinking red lights, in places that she can't reach. Don't want her pullin' those suckers down. I might even go as far as having some large stickers made with Geckos in different sexual positions and plaster them all over her windows.

The point to all this is to make sure that Aunt Edna keeps her babbling mouth shut for the rest of her life – what’s left of it anyway. Not to mention, this stunt will permanently ruin all creditability she has when gossiping about someone else. Trust me, Aunt Edna will never show her face in public again, let alone speak to anyone.