Girl With A Tude

I am absolutely amazed with today’s growing youth. We received Belle’s school pictures on Monday and I just about fell over when I was comparing last year’s picture. Has there been a scientific change in human life that causes children to become young adults overnight? Okay, maybe not overnight but still, I am amazed….just look at the MAJOR difference between last year’s pic and this year. Tell me I am not overreacting. They barely look like the same child!



So, along with maturity, comes the “tude”, in other words, “the attitude”. I hate the “tude”.

Fuck “tude”, “tude” sucks.

But, I digress. Belle is not the pre-teen girl that EVERYONE warned me about. She is not me, nor is she my mother. Rather, she is my grandmother and I don’t know which one is worse. You see, my grandmother, aka Tutu (grandmother in Hawaiian), watches Dr. Phil and thinks that every thing he says is “the” rule to live by. Dr. Phil is great, “I was watching Dr. Phil today and he says…”

Fuck Phil, Phil sucks.

My grandmother told me that Bello would eventually become paranoid schizophrenic because he had a mild case of Tourette’s growing up. According to her, Tourette’s leads to schizophrenia. Where did she get this from? I have no clue but I looked up the Tourette Syndrome Association, Inc. and there is nothing on that site indicating any relation to paranoid schizophrenia. Furthermore, I couldn’t find anything about PS on the site. It doesn’t mention it.

Tutu also believes that the movie Reefer Madness is based on fact. Tutu claims she’s psychic and that people tell her secrets in her dreams. She will call me up late at night and ask if Belle is alright because she had a dream that Belle was screaming for her. “No Tutu, Belle is fast asleep in her bed and no sign of nightmares.” My grandmother has a huge heart and I love her more than life itself but she’s a “Grandma Gone Wild”. A pure bonafide nutcase that is full of shit. Do you see where I’m getting at here, peeps? I DO NOT want my daughter to end up that way.

Belle is a first class know it all. She knows it all because it’s what Tutu says is right. Every word that comes from her mouth sounds just like my grandmother. She’s right, I’m wrong. You’re wrong, she’s right. My grandmother isn’t the kind to get sarcastic and she certainly doesn’t say these things in an arrogant manner but she says it with innocent ignorance without conviction. She’s not trying to convince you. As a matter of fact, my grandmother could care less what you believe; her or the truth. You see the significant difference here? There’s the real truth and then her version of the truth.

Fuck “her version”, “her version” sucks.

Her version takes bits and pieces of the truth and mixes it with whatever her brain feels is appropriate. Sometimes her “appropriate” is a lot off base. Thank gawd she’s not Republican. Jezuzchrist – Delusional and a Republican. That would be a double standard. I’d begin to think she’s an immediate relative of the Bush family.

This is my worry; I don’t want my daughter growing up in ignorant bliss. Belle is still young enough so that I could start pumping good information in her brain. Legit information. Not this bullshit, “I believe in what I want to not because it’s fact” attitude. She needs to be aware that most people don’t tolerate a person who is full of shit 50% of the time. You have to decipher truth from fiction and for crying out loud, don’t combine the two.