Damn, You're Sick

I have decided that I am a horrible person. Why? Because I laugh at other people’s expense. I can’t help it. I am by far the meanest person on earth because I cannot control my laughter when I see people engage in a mishap.

I was thinking about this the other day. “Why am I so disturbed that I am amused at other’s accidents?” Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad afterwards; after I have laughed so hard I begin to snort, can’t breathe and fall to my knees holding my stomach with tears running down my cheeks. What’s wrong with me?

I went shopping in Costco and as I was browsing around the candy aisle, this little old lady was walking with her cart and out of nowhere I hear this loud roar that scared the shit outta me. I’m not kidding you; I jumped from the loudness. I turned around and the lady kept walking down the aisle in the opposite direction. I had no idea what the sound was. I went down the next aisle and the lady passed me by and smiled and before I knew it, there was that loud sound again. This time it was distinct. I knew right away that lady let out the loudest fart. I couldn’t believe that loud ass sound came from that little old lady’s butthole. Goddamn that shit sounded like a fucking plane crash. I ran to the other side of Costco and I couldn’t contain myself. People were staring at me like I was some kind of psycho.

The poor lady probably had some type of gastronial intestinal problem and couldn’t help it and there I am laughing so hard I started coughing and gagging.

Damn, I’m a horrible person.