Welcome to Home Depot. How Can I Not Help You?

I read an article about Michael Panorelli who was banned from Home Depot for inadvertently pocketing a pencil. Panorelli was in the Methuen, Massachusetts Home Depot with a client buying lumber. Panorelli picked up a pencil to write down some calculations and absent-mindedly put the pencil in his pocket. On his way out, he was approached by Scott Jordan, an employee for Prevention Loss at Home Depot, and asked for identification. Panorelli was asked to sign a Theft Statement written by the employee, however Panorelli refused to sign the statement saying, “it was an accident and not intentional.” Jordan verbally stated to Panorelli that he was banned from all Home Depots wordwide for stealing.

When Panorelli went to the Eagle-Tribune about the incident and word got out, Home Depot issued a public statement apologizing and welcoming Panorelli back into their stores. Panorelli wasn’t too enthused and refuses to shop at any Home Depot.

As for Scott Jordan, the company says that he did everything according to Home Depot’s books and his job is safe.

Okay, not every Home Depot employee is an idiot but I have heard a lot of stories from people who no longer shop there. Apparently, Home Depot puts their employees through intense training. What I don’t get is why half of them are just as useless as the day they started training.

Bello went into our local Home Depot last July to have keys made.

Bello: I need to have a couple keys made. Is there someone at the key station who can help me?

Employee: Uh, yeah. Just a sec.

The employee asks another employee who has no clue.

Employee: There’s no one around.

Bello: Can you page someone?

Employee: I don’t know how to use the paging system.

Bello: Well, can you find someone who does? I only need two keys made. That’s it.

Employee: Okay, lemme go find someone for you. Hold on.

After waiting for 15 minutes, Bello walks down a couple of aisles and sees the employee talking to another customer.

Bello: I thought you were going to find someone to help me? I waited 15 minutes and you never came back.

Employee: Give me your key and I’ll make them for you. You said you wanted two?

Even though Bello was irritated, he kept his cool. However, if the situation happened to me, I would have made that guy feel lower than the puss oozing out of pond scum from the bottom of a swamp.

What is it with you Home Depot employees? Are you all sniffing the paint cans?