Is There a Cure For Chapstick Addiction?

I have this unbelievable, insane attachment to Chapstick.

My name is Bella and I am a Chapstick-aholic. The disease must have started in childhood because I can’t ever remember a time that I wasn’t a Chapstick Addict. It is seriously insane and it runs my life.

When I venture to bed at night, there are at least 12 tubes of Chapstick on my nightstand. Yes, twelve. You gotta problem with that?

Six of them are slightly used or full and the other six are empty with whatever remains in the bottom of the tube. I am guilty of keeping the empty ones because you will never know if you lose all of the full ones and you have no back-up. Missing-Chapstick-Paranoia really sucks but don’t worry; EVERYTHING’S UNDER CONTROL.

Bello, Belle and I were headed up to Grass Valley when 30 minutes into the drive, I realized I have no Chapstick. Panic strikes and I tell Bello to pull over so that I can buy some. He gives that impatient sigh because the only thing he wants to do is get to his parent’s house as soon as possible. Then comes the grunt and the look. I wonder what he’s thinking when he gives me that look? Something like, “What the hell am I doing with this Chapstick freak that can’t go one hour without having it? There’s something mentally wrong with her. Maybe I should put her in a mental hospital for Chapstickschizophrenic. What a nutcase. I can’t marry someone like that. I’ll go insane! God help me! Get this psychotic, deranged, rabid, neurotic, madwoman away from me!”

Next on Geraldo - Man Who Kills Girlfriend Over Chapstick Addiction.

There has been a few times where I have gone to bed and realized that my Chapstick isn’t where I thought it was. Bello has helped turn the house upside down late at night to find it. I distinctly remember not ever wanting to feel that I-have-no-Chapstick-what-am-I-gonna-do-feeling again. That’s why Bello keeps all my Chapsticks together for me and he was the one who insisted that I buy several at a time. Yes, they are everywhere; on the living room table, in the kitchen, in the bathroom and on the back porch. I will never again have to worry about losing my Chapstick again. Unless of course we leave the house without it. But for some strange reason, something tells me that Bello has that one covered too.