Drunken Forces

My mother has always been well known for her outrageous parties. My mom would think of any reason to have a party; it’s the first day of great weather; I got a raise; my two week headache is gone…….

The last time that a party of my mother’s got out of hand was when she lived with her ex-boyfriend, (I call him the paranoid schizophrenic because he was) Dennis. She invited many and among them were co-workers, including the bosses. My mother works for a well known community grocery store.

The party was in honor of Christmas; my mother’s favorite time of the year to throw a party. This wasn’t exactly your average Christmas party but then again, my mother could host an Easter Party and it would be just like every other one. It started out with about twenty people who were drinking a little wine and beer, mingling and communing. A couple of hours later, my mother thought that the party wasn’t rollin’ enough so she broke out with the Tequila and before we knew it, about fifteen more people showed up. That’s when things got out of control.

The music was all of a sudden blasting, people were screaming like they were at a concert, the four gay guys that my mom worked with started dancing on the coffee table like they were strippers and my mother was doing shot after shot. Then the bottle was gone. Oh no, what to do! My intelligent and drunk Uncle decides that he’s going to go to the store and buy a few bottles of Patrone. That’s when things REALLY got out of control.

The gay guys broke out in drag and began to dance like Madonna to her greatest hits. When Like A Virgin came on, shit hit the fan. They were all crawling around the floor like Madonna did in that Music Award scene where she was dressed in the wedding gown. Hell, they did it better than Madonna. Next thing, they all started making out and I mean MAKNG OUT…..ON THE FLOOR. However, it wasn’t just the gay guys who were provocatively dancing, there were others who were downright grabbing each other, bumpin and grindin in a very inappropriate way. People were puking outside, some were passed out on the lawn chairs and some were smoking marijuana. The funny thing is no one even realized that the bosses had shown up and were sitting on the couch observing all of this.

So, we have four gay men making out like porn stars in the living room, people rubbin each other while dancing, bottles of Patrone being passed around, people puking outside, screaming drunks, people passed out on the lawn chairs, joints being passed around and the bosses sitting on the couch stone sober and taking notes.

Even though the bosses couldn’t technically fire anyone for what they do after business hours, they still found a way. My mother was written up and a few people, including two of the gay guys were fired. But did that stop anyone? Hell no. My mother stopped inviting the bosses.

It’s amazing at what Tequila will make you do.