Vibrator Is A Funny Word

I use to date this guy that was obsessed with sex toys. He had bought me a vibrator but I never became interested in it. I ended up losing it twice and it was found both times by the same person; his mother.

The first time I lost it was when he first gave it to me. I didn’t want to appear too disappointed upon the realization of what it was so I took it out of the box and looked at it briefly. He threw away the box thinking I would use it but I found a paper bag and wrapped it up and put it next to me on the couch. By the end of the night, I had forgotten all about it until a few weeks later.

My ex and I were watching TV in his front room when his mother came in with the 14 year old daughter of her best friend. She was sleeping over and needed the hideabed. So, I moved over to the wing chair and watched as she pulled out the bed and a paper bag fell out. It didn’t dawn on me what it was.

Ex’s mother: Hey, what’s this? (two seconds later) AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???????

Me: Oh shit!

Ex: GIMME THAT!

The ex runs over and grabs it out of her hands and shoves it back into the paper bag and glares at me. He gives it back to me and tells me to take it home. The poor girl looked terrified and didn’t want to sleep on the hideabed. She ended up sleeping on the floor.

The second time was that same night actually. As I was leaving his house, I put it on top of my car along with a couple of other things and when I grabbed everything, I didn’t notice that I had left the bag. Honestly, I didn’t realize it.

I came over the next day and the ex wasn’t home yet but his mother was. I apologized for the incident the night before and she laughed it off. We were sitting at the dining table talking when we heard the dog (he was a Rot) growl.

Ex’s mother: Duke! Stop that!

He was growling and knawing on something so the mother goes over to the dog and starts to pull on the thing he’s chewing. He starts to growl at her again and when she finally gets it away from him, out comes the vibrator all chewed up and vibrating. She screams and looks at me with these mad eyes and I bolted out the door. I could only assume that she threw it away because I never saw it again. Oh well, I didn’t really care.