Up Yours!

I subscribe to this ezine called Up Yours!. It's a weekly ezine where Chadwick's intent is to insult you. That's if you decide to send in a comment about the article. I subscribe because he points out our pathetic country and shines a not-so-flattering light on it and exposes the truth in word peircing fashion. I love him. Last week he wrote about the national debt. Subscribers are able to comment on his articles and they are shown in the following week's ezine. Chadwick comments back in a not so subtle way.

I thought you would get a kick out of his dark humor. Below I have shared with you last week's ezine. When I read the comments about last week's in this week's ezine, one stood out like a sore thumb. Or should I say one guy has definitely redefined the word moron.

"Dear Narcoleptics,

Were any of you pinheads sober enough to read the news lately?
If you were you will have noticed that the U.S. national debt
has now exceeded seven trillion dollars.

Since most of you have trouble counting higher than ten with-
out taking your shoes off, let me put that in numbers even
you can understand.

Let's say an average person graduates from college at 21 years
old. He or she works from then until retirement at 65. That
gives the average person 44 years of income. Let's further say
that a person will make an average of $50,000 per year. You
will probably start out making much less, but when you retire
you will probably be making significantly more. So, as an
average, we'll say that over 44 years you'll make $50,000 per
year.

Using these numbers you will, in your working life, earn a
gross total of $2,200,000 (two million, two hundred thousand
dollars). If you donated every cent of your income, before
taxes, to paying off the national debt, it would take you
three million, one hundred and eighty-two thousand years to
do it.

Better get started.

"But hang on a minute, you well-hung sexual magician reeking
of machismo," you say, "the last time the United States had
a balanced budget was in 1965. What the hell difference does
it make to me, the average retard, if the national debt is
seven trillion dollars?"

What difference indeed. Did you know that last year the U.S.
Government spent $318 billion on interest payments on the
National Debt. Not on principle, mind you, on interest. That's
nearly 17 percent of the entire budget.

What happens when 20 percent of the budget goes toward interest
payments? What about 25? What about 30 percent? I'll tell you
what's going to happen. Socialism.

The government is going to become a bloated, corrupt empire,
gorging itself on the dwindling produce of the brain-washed
citizenry under it and belching forth bureaucracy in a per-
petuating cycle of fiscal cannibalism.

Private enterprise will become an almost forgotten fantasy
as capitalism surrenders to sky-rocketing inflation and
unemployment. Luxury items will become scarcer and scarcer
(except for those privileged few in the Politburo) and the
quality of basic necessities and services will deteriorate
until it will take you six months just to buy, for $50, a
bottle of aspirin that was made in Canada!

Not that you'll get to take any of them. Because on the way
home from the pharmacist you'll most likely be mugged by the
roaming gangs of criminals driven to desperation by the
rampant unemployment. Then you can buy back a couple of your
aspirin the next day on the black market for ten bucks a pop.

But don't worry about it. Read your dick jokes, drink your
Old Milwaukee, masturbate to your online porn and let the
television pacify you into believing that the cuntry is
moving onward and upward.

Dumbasses.

I need a drink,

Chadwick"

The comment of a moron:

Horse Hockey, Chadwick. You say, "the U.S. national debt has
now exceeded seven trillion dollars." This must be false.
George Bush got those f**king liberals out of control of the
country just in time. He has proved that their alleged
surplus was a pretence. Even you could not have wiped that
budget out and dipped into the pot to help enough of your
friends in these few years to end up with a debt of the
amount you claim it is. George Bush has too much integrity
to help his friends and has too many really smart people
around to allow such a thing to happen. --Komowkwa

Chad's brilliant response:

I didn't think people as stupid as you existed outside of
comedy movies, insane asylums and Alabama. Learn the dif-
ference between a budget surplus/deficit and the national
debt before I kill you. But if you think George Bush has
integrity you're already dead from the neck up.

Are all Bush followers this stupid?