So I Over Reacted

This week I received an email from Kaplan University; the school I attended before transferring to University of Phoenix. In retrospect, I had to leave KU before they suspended me for some insane crap they accused me of; plagiarism. I plagiarized once, the second offense was a punctual error and not an actual plagiarization issue and the third was just preposterous - I had plagiarized Algebra. In addition, I had failed Algebra twice already and with a third strike in plagriarism = automatically failing the class and receiving an F for the third time in Algebra. This meant that I had a double expulsion against me because of the three strikes law. Apparently it not only applies to criminals but to us students as well.

Courtesy of the assholes at Kaplan:

Dear Bella,

Congratulations on your graduation from Kaplan University. We know how proud you must feel now that you have almost completed this important goal. You are a valued student and we have enjoyed working with you.

Many of your fellow graduates will be returning to Kaplan University to continue their education and complete their long term goals. If you would be interested in receiving further information about your education options or continuing with one of our programs, please contact me directly through email or a phone call so I may assist you appropriately.

Due to the high volume of returning student requests, I may not have the opportunity to make initial contact by calling you via phone. As a successful student at Kaplan University, I want to make sure that your file is a priority.

Please feel free to contact me at 888-252-7895, ext. 3262. Thank you for your continued interest in Kaplan University. I do look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in Education,

Ashley Harpool
Office of Returning Students
Telephone: 888-252-7895 ext 3262
E-Fax: 888-852-4047 (toll-free)
aharpool@kaplan.edu

www.kaplanuniversity.com

And of course, courtesy of moi:

Dear Ashley,

I didn't graduate this year because Kaplan fucked me over in my classes and I had to go to another school where a quarter of my credits were recognized and I have to now start over and continue with four more years of school, thanks to the wonderful Kaplan University.

I have a question for you. Do you people there communicate? I haven't attended that school since July. Does Kaplan not finish their paperwork and notify departments that students have left the school? I didn't think so considering the instructors there can't differentiate between plagiarizing and tutoring in an algebra class. But then again, who's ever heard of plagiarizing Algebra, right?

I would appreciate it if this fucking school would stop calling me, emailing and congratulating me on my "job well done" when I was screwed over by this shit-hole school. Comprende?

Unsincerely,

Bella Snow (Now a student at a REAL University)

Okay, so I over reacted. I think they may have gotten the point. For those of you with a mean streak in you, feel free to contact Miss Ashley and the Kaplan freaks, and lend them a peice of your mind.