Ode to My Parents

Most people know that my real name is Genifer and not Bella. Notice the spelling of my name. Those of you with parents who decided to be “different” (or as I like to say “difficult”) know what I am talking about. There is nothing more vexatious than having a common name with an uncommon spelling.

Common name + uncommon spelling = impatience

“Genifer, give me your email address so that I can send you the forms.”
“My name is spelled differently so listen closely. My email is g-e-n-i-f-e-r@blah.com.”

I say it meticulously slow so that there isn’t a misunderstanding but apparently this guy’s brain is wired to only conceive the common thread of assume.

“Let me read that back to you. J-e-n-i-s-e-r-@blah.com.”

What threw me off was the “s” part. Since when is there an “s” in Genifer (or Jenifer)?

I am forever damaged because my parents thought it was cool to give their child a nightmare spelling of her name.